There’s a silent crisis unfolding in women’s lives, and it’s not about pay gaps, board seats, or leadership pipelines. It’s what happens after all that. It’s the moment successful, capable women step out of full-time work and find themselves staring into the unknown.
We call it the identity cliff.
After decades of being known by our job titles, our teams, or our contribution, retirement can feel like walking off the edge of a cliff, a sudden drop in purpose, structure, and visibility. One day you’re part of the action and the next, the world seems to move on without you.
And for many women, the fall is steeper than we ever expected.
Personally, I am happy to admit (now) that I fell victim to this as well. Retiring “officially” in 2020, I was navigating a deep professional loss when my lack of personal purpose was compounded by the sudden passing of my husband. I needed something. But, like so many other women, I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. That’s when I switched up my reading list, turning from academic journals to life design studies, and in turn, started my own era of transitioning empty days into a fulfilling path forward.
We’ve planned our finances. But not our lives.
Search “retirement planning” online, and nine out of ten results will talk about money. Super balances. Budgets. Projections. All important, but only half the story.
The real gap is not financial. It’s emotional.
In research and in real life, we see it play out the same way: women who led teams, ran companies, or influenced industries suddenly wondered who they were when the title was gone. Their networks faded, their routine dissolved, and the validation that once came easily, from work, colleagues, recognition, went quiet.
This isn’t just a personal problem. It’s a societal blind spot.
According to the ARC Centre of Excellence in Population Ageing Research, Australians aged 55 and over will make up around 40 per cent of the adult population by 2050. That’s millions of women stepping into a life stage we still barely talk about.
The irony? These are the same women who helped build the modern workforce, and we’re leaving them to navigate the next chapter alone.
At The Main Act, we believe that the foundation of a good retirement, or any intentional next chapter, rests on what we call the 3Ps: a meaningful purpose that guides you, a plan for how to structure your time, and a strong network of people around you. Through our programs, we help women define and move toward their 3Ps, because while finances may fund retirement, it’s purpose, planning, and people that make it fulfilling.
Redefining what identity means
I know this transition well. After 30 years in higher education, I retired from my academic role in 2020. The professional world had defined me, Deputy Dean, Professor, leader. And then, overnight, I wasn’t any of those things.
At first, it was disorienting. But it also forced me to ask better questions: What do I want now? What gives me meaning? Who am I without the job title?
That reflection led me to co-found The Main Act with my daughter, Prue. It started as a small step, a simple “yes”, and grew into a purpose-driven business helping other women take control of their lives.
That’s the thing about identity: it isn’t fixed. It changes, sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance. In the past few years, I’ve been an academic, an entrepreneur, and, most proudly, a grandmother. Each change brings growth and the realisation that identity is something we design, not inherit.
Practical steps to build a new sense of purpose
So how do you stop the fall from the identity cliff… My advice? Start small.
- Take one step towards what you want, even if it feels uncertain. Small steps compound into change.
- Stop waiting for validation. You don’t need permission to live differently.
- Remove “should” from your vocabulary. It’s a word that ties you to the past. Replace it with could.
- Design your days. Structure isn’t the enemy of freedom, it’s what allows you to live with intention.
At The Main Act, we call this living by design, not by default. Because drifting rarely leads to fulfilment, but deliberate, purposeful planning does.
The call to action
If midlife and retirement are life’s biggest transitions, then it’s time we start treating them that way, with curiosity, ambition, and support.
We don’t need to cling to outdated narratives about slowing down or fading out. This is not an ending; it’s an opening.
And as more women reach this stage, we have a choice: fall quietly off the identity cliff, or build the bridge ourselves. It’s about one small, intentional step at a time (and one giant leap for our sense of self!)