I keep hearing 50 is the new 30. Shame my mind and body didn’t get the memo. But what appear to be the drawbacks to mid-life may indeed not be so. Here are my top five losses (some of which may ultimately be gains) heading to the far side of 40:
1. My mind first and foremost!
I used to be able to memorise vast swathes of information for exams or a school play. Now I need the notes section on my phone to remember a few items to purchase at Woolies. And God help me if I haven’t been introduced to someone at least 3 times. I find myself constantly in a panic trying to develop strategies to remember important details. I’m told it helps if you repeat the name or information a few times immediately but I think you just sound like you’ve got a speech impediment. Just last week I had a brain freeze meeting someone who was in my year at school. I remembered neither her face nor her name – nada! And finding the car you’ve parked at a shopping centre or an event? Landmarks are essential but that’s a useless strategy in a car park – one pylon looks like the next. And please don’t ask me to remember the floor or pylon number. You either rely on your kids or if it’s a place you visit regularly, park in the same place if that’s possible. It’s quite stressful when my favourite spot has been taken… stressful and pathetic really. The upside: by the next morning the embarrassment and panic are all but forgotten!
2. The freedom to eat relatively freely without stacking on the weight.
When you reach 40 you finally get your head together (sort of) but your body has other notions. Any food that isn’t in the vegetable category (not including high carb ones such as potatoes or corn) has to be evaluated for its calorific value. There’s a constant conversation to be had about whether to assuage the craving now or have something to look forward to once you’ve battled the work day, dinner, washing up, kids’ homework etc. I exercise by trying to attend three spin classes a week (for the uninitiated that’s three 45 min sessions of stationary bike riding). It’s huge bang for your buck – you walk out a sweaty mess with your heart rate soaring. And it’s awful, I hate every class. I watch the clock feverishly willing it to speed up. Why persist you ask? Because life is more miserable without cake and chocolate than it is enduring spin classes. The upside: by 40 you’re done with feeling hungry and you’re far more comfortable within your own skin. Bring on the evening chocolate!
3. The ability to stay awake past 10pm.
Please restaurants don’t tell me you have two shifts: a 6:00pm slot meaning you’re eating at nursing home hours or 8:30pm meaning I won’t get my meal until 9:30pm and by then I’m just grumpy and starving and looking at the clock thinking my head won’t touch the pillow until close to midnight. Why not accept my perfectly reasonable request for a 7:30pm booking? I promise I’ll turn up; I’ll buy lots of cocktails and be a well-behaved customer so you won’t feel short changed. The upside: wide awake at 6:00am ready to start the day when all is quiet and peaceful with the world.
4. My hair.
When exactly did hair loss on my head become the hair gain on my upper lip and chin? It’s not enough we’ve been waxing our legs for 30 years, we now need to wax our face. Blessed are the creators of pain free laser treatment! The upside: who needs a bikini wax post 40 anyway? Are you even wearing a bikini?
5. My tolerance for judgement.
We all have people around us masking criticism with a seemingly innocent question or wrapping their insults in a smile. I love watching tv box sets and at times I’m told how lucky I am to find the time to watch them. That’s code for them spending their time far more altruistically. I don’t judge you when you’re trotting off shopping, getting your nails and hair done (or do I?) so leave me and my tv box sets in peace.
What are you losing and gaining on the road to mid-life?