The New York Times has revealed that the NFL asked two players’ wives to keep quiet about the domestic abuse they were experiencing at the hands of their husbands.
Mercedes Sands and Brandie Underwood both suffered continued physical abuse, but were told by the league to “keep their marital problems at home.”
NFL representatives told the women not to call the police for fear of tarnishing their husband’s reputation, as well as the team’s. Underwood and Sands were told to work through their problems with the help of the team and the league, and never to speak about them publicly.
In Sands’ case, the team’s head coach warned that even a call placed to the police about her husband could end up in the press and cause an “embarrassing distraction”.
Sands told the New York Times this led her husband to begin using this as leverage against her, saying if she reported his violence to the police it would threaten his career in the league, and therefore their main source of income.
“I didn’t want to really say anything because I knew how bad it could get for our family,” Sands said.
Sands fell pregnant with their first child in 2013. During the pregnancy, Sands’ husband assaulted her, choking her and putting pressure on her stomach. He was arrested, and the team turned on Ms Sands. Mr Sands canceled her credit card and cleared their joint checking account, leaving her with no money or family during the last weeks of her pregnancy.
Brandie Underwood said she felt “stuck” as the coaches from the NFL also made her feel as though she could not seek help from the police when she was abused by her husband. Her friends – other players’ wives – also encouraged her to keep quiet. They told her they all had to “be strong for our men” and that “nobody is perfect”.
Both women did report their husbands to the police. Following these arrests, Sands and Underwood left their husbands and were able to speak about the NFL’s attempts to silence them to the New York Times. Neither woman was contacted by the NFL following their husbands’ arrests.
The NFL has come under fire repeatedly in recent years for its inability to punish players charged with domestic violence offences. It has been suggested that the NFL’s relationship with local law enforcement in football towns has led to persistent impunity for violent and abusive players.