If there’s one thing that working mothers don’t need, it’s a reminder that we sometimes drop the ball. Now Health Minister Sussan Ley is telling us that our failure to balance work, family and life means women are “literally killing themselves” because exercise comes last on our long to-do lists. The government’s answer to the problem is a $900,000 campaign to urge women to work up a sweat.
It’s undeniable that Australian women aren’t getting enough exercise – ABS data shows 40% of adult women are sedentary and another 30% only exercise at low levels. And we don’t need reminding this contributes to health problems like heart disease, depression, diabetes, and osteoporosis. But we’ll always put the team meeting, the grocery run, and the kids’ dinner first.
For women to get around to doing the exercise they know they should, a campaign of encouraging social media messages is about as helpful as a run of red lights on the way to school pick-up.
Part of the real answer to women being able to make their health a priority is closer to home, with partners. In families with kids, where both partners work full-time, women still do over 40 hours of housework a week – twice as much as men. What if it more often fell to our male partners to be the ones leaving work at 4.30pm to pick up the kids, get dinner started, and throw in a load of washing? Temporarily freed from their domestic duties, women would stand a better chance of being able to pop into the gym on the way from work or meet a friend for a jog.
Rather than a campaign telling women to get off their butts, what about a campaign encouraging men to pick up the slack at home?
Women also have a role to play in dividing the housework and childcare more equally. If we want more time for ourselves and our health, we need to ask our partners for what we need…and then accept their way of doing things.
One of the reasons fathers and male partners don’t share an equal load of household and parenting responsibilities, even when they want to, is concern about how it will be perceived at work. Even in 2015 women face discrimination for trying to combine being a parent with having a career, and the stigma is even stronger for men. At the start of a meeting, your colleague says: “Sorry, I have to go in 20 minutes to pick up the kids.” Did you picture a male or female colleague? My bet is it was a woman. In general, men committed to their careers are even more acutely aware than women are that bosses equate hours spent in the office with performance and productivity.
Of course, it’s not just men but also women who can influence workplace culture. As colleagues and as supervisors we can make it clear to our male colleagues that we know their life outside of work is important too.
So let’s say we waved our magic wands and men all over Australia are keen to take on 50% of the housework and 50% of the parenting, and their workplaces support them to do so. Managing a home, a family and two careers is hugely demanding for any couple, and it still takes a village to raise a child. Just as we all contribute in the form of tax, I think it falls on all of us to contribute to nurturing the next generation.
A lack of exercise costs the Australian economy $13.8 billion per year. So when women have time to exercise and stay well, everyone benefits. And when all members of society contribute to raising children, women benefit.
Some people choose not to have kids because they’d prefer to have time for their careers and hobbies, and that’s absolutely fair enough. But they don’t have to make much of a sacrifice to have a real impact on the wellbeing of their extended families, neighbours and friends with kids. Regularly offering to take the kids to the park, dropping over a meal, or picking up a few groceries are simple ways anyone can free up an hour for a busy woman. An hour she could use to take a walk, a yoga class or have a hit of tennis.
As women, we can help members of our “village” help us, by accepting those offers, and asking for favours even if we know we could do it all ourselves – we’d just have to skip that workout.