At least once a week I slip out the front door before any of my family members are out of bed. As Private Media’s head office is in Melbourne I attempt to make the trek south from Sydney with as little disruption to my husband and sons as possible.
The entire premise of minimum disruption is impossible of course but I try. My focus is on ensuring that chaos doesn’t become a characteristic of their day when I travel for business. I don’t always travel to Melbourne on the same week day so it’s difficult to formulate a set schedule for what my sons have termed my ‘Melbourne days’. The days in the lead-up are spent arranging alternate scenarios to the usual for them.
My youngest son is 15 and I generally drop him at school on the way to work as his school day begins at 8.15am. He used to take the bus to school but it is unreliable and resulted in far too many late arrivals and therefore chaos at the start of the school day. So if I can’t take him I arrange for my husband, eldest son or even my mother to drive him in. This one small act alone has so many considerations.
My husband is an editor for The Australian and he works nights, usually arriving home long after I have fallen asleep. An early morning disruption to his sleep can destroy him for the following work evening.
My eldest son is a Uni student and is always happy to oblige if the day suits his schedule. He has two early starts, two late starts and a free day each week. If it’s a late start day then he will go back to bed after he drops his brother at school and then sleep for half the day. If my Melbourne trip coincides with an early start day then he is unavailable to help me out and my husband will do it.
More often than not these days the trip will be an overnighter, which brings a whole new set of considerations. As my youngest is 15 and my husband works all night, my mother will come and stay to ensure that the boys eat a decent dinner (if left to their own devices they will likely choose pizza) and the school uniform is clean and ironed. She will also drive him to school which kills that bird at the same time.
Each week is different so I can’t just adopt a set and forget position with my business travel. The behind-the-scenes coordination is intense because the only way that I can travel as regularly as I do with minimum disruption to the lives of my family is if it appears to run like a well-oiled machine.
That’s the bit that is least understood about the working mother’s work-life juggle. The most involved husbands and co-parents will be very good at executing the doing. But it’s the thinking and coordination of what needs to be done that is the most stressful part. This is actually the most important part because without good planning the entire thing can end in chaos and tears – which is why mothers like me have troubling sharing that load.
Do you struggle with this part of the juggle?