Seven things I have learned from the company of good men

I enjoy working alongside the men and women in my team. The balance that I have achieved in terms of gender, background and experience has been entirely by design. It’s a powerful combination that appears to be working.

We live in increasingly diverse times; where everyone from a previously politically ostracized former fish and chip shop owner to a billionaire with the passion and funds to recreate replicas of the props and sets of blockbuster films, can aspire to a seat in the Senate.

It is sometimes overlooked but happily there is plenty of diversity within both genders too. As a group, men can be maligned due to the highly publicised antics of out-of-control sportsmen and out-of-control politicians but that doesn’t reflect the ‘good men’ subset that I know and work with. The goal should be to increase the size of the ‘good men’ group but in order to do this we need to know what sets them apart.

Here’s what I have learned from keeping company with good men:

1. Good men respect women. This goes without saying and yet it must be said. Respecting women means acknowledging and supporting the choices they make, including financial independence, saying no to sex and terminating unplanned pregnancies.
2. Good men see women as equal. It’s actions that speak louder than words. A man telling us that he sees women as equal isn’t always the reality. If there were more good men running organisations then we would have a better chance of closing the gender leadership and pay gaps.
3. Good men would never question a leader’s gender. I employ a number of men and have done so throughout my career. It’s always crystal clear to me immediately as to their attitude towards female leaders. I have no time or empathy for those who have an issue with it. I let them off the bus.
4. Good men enjoy spending time with women. They don’t feel the need to escape to the sanctity of blokey clubs where women are the exception due to the behaviour and language that many would find confronting. I have had a number of close male friends since I was a teenager. As mixed gender groups we still go out for dinner and away for weekends reliving the best of our youth.
5. Good men would never consider cat-calling women. This is far more prevalent and invasive than most would realise. Many women feel violated from a suggestive comment delivered flippantly by a stranger and they shouldn’t ever be expected to quietly acquiesce. Good women shouldn’t do this to men either. So I implore the female judges on TV talent shows to refrain from telling the men they are hot and that should consider taking their shirts off. Imagine if the male judges said that to the female contestants?
6. Good men don’t see women as objects to conquer. A friend was telling me recently how she dumped the first guy she was engaged to marry once it became clear that he would expect her to stay at home and raise the children full-time. My friend had spent almost a decade studying and training to be a doctor.
7. Good men help raise good men. This is so important. The next generation of men looks to the current crop as role models for behaviour and attitude. I have two teenage sons who would never even dream of treating women disrespectfully or as things to own and dominate. I know that my sons’ future partners will be supported to pursue careers and the responsibilities of parenthood will be shared. It’s all they know.