When Shoes of Prey co-founder Jodie Fox met an investor in a bar recently, she was greeted with a rather awkward comment.
After looking her up and down he said, “You look amazing”.
Fox revealed the comment in a recent YouTube video, describing the meeting as “a bit weird” and asking her followers for their opinions on how it went down. She said that while she didn’t like the idea of meeting in a bar, that it’s not completely unheard of to do so.
“The first thing he said to me was not ‘hello’…or even ‘it’s great to meet you’,” she said. “He looked at me and said, ‘You look amazing’.”
Fox said that earlier in her career she may have just dismissed the comment, but that she now realises it’s these “seemingly innocuous comments that contribute to creating barriers to opportunities for women professionally, so we really have to pay attention to that.”
That’s very true.
However, perhaps another way to look at it — particularly in the interest of halting such comments in the future — is to consider the opportunities those who voice such comments are missing.
Jodie Fox’s meeting in a bar reminded me of my own awkward incident a few years ago, while working as a business journalist. I agreed to meet with a senior male business leader who I’d regularly called for a quote. He offered to share some “trends and story ideas” over a beer.
We met after work hours in a North Sydney bar. I too was greeted with a “you look great” style comment and within minutes of sitting down it quickly became clear this male business leader was after something else. He thought he was on a date.
What happened next was very much my own decision. After politely sitting for a drink, turning down the offer of dinner and continually steering the conversation back towards business and story ideas, I left.
I also never called him for a quote again. I didn’t meet him again, nor give much of a response to his continued emails. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but rather an evolution. I had become uncomfortable with what was supposed to be a business relationship and I didn’t want to bother having to ‘professionalise’ it again.
So while he made the initial business meeting awkward, he also lost future media opportunities. He probably never even realised it.
Fox doesn’t reveal the outcome of her own meeting. However, given she described it as a little on the ‘weird’ side we’re left to conclude that it didn’t go particularly well.
That investor may have lost a great opportunity. By immediately derailing the meeting, he likely put Fox off.
This happens all the time. We think about how awkward such situations become for women, but we should also consider how self-sabotaging such behaviour is for the men who make such comments. Perhaps such awareness will be the motivation they need to actually stop.
While the woman who feels uncomfortable may not actually speak up about it at the time, she will certainly remember the situation. It’ll leave a bad taste in her mouth regarding all future business opportunities.