Another day, another inexplicable demonstration of male entitlement.
This time, from Perth-based podcaster, Jack McIntosh, who felt compelled to post a crying TikTok video where he laments being relentlessly rejected by women. “This is day 18 of getting rejected every single day”, he begins by saying, before launching into a lengthy explanation of why this time it will “look a little bit different”.
But before he starts whinging about women on Tinder (which is where we expect this to go), the “little bit different” disclaimer becomes clearer. He’s not going to whinge about his dating life, but instead about a failed attempt to mansplain his perspective on gender equality to a young woman who advocates and comments on this issue across her social platforms.
The background
Jordan Tan, is a social media influencer with over 30,000 followers on TikTok. She’s amassed this following by calling out bullshit and shedding light on the experiences of young women in Australia.
Three days ago she shared voice notes she received from two men in the mental health/wellness space who wanted to “catch up for a coffee”. The voice notes were vague, suggesting they chat about her “strong opinions” toward men and share some of their own perspectives. “I’m sure you don’t want to feel that way for the rest of your life”, one mentions.
When Tan responded, asking about their intentions or whether there was a particular project they wanted to explore together, the two responded saying: “our intention is to understand perspective, maybe share a bit of our perspective. We might help each other learn something”.
Why that’s a hard pass from most women
As Jordan rightly notes in her reel, the proposition was exceptionally weird and vague.
She sent the men a message back saying she unfortunately didn’t see the experience aligning with her or providing an outcome she’d be fulfilled by, but pointed them towards some good feminist literature to keep furthering their education and suggested they make donations to reputable women’s charities.
The response back? “Hey Jordan, that is a shame to hear. I’ve just got a couple of questions about what doesn’t quite align. Because I just asked to have a conversation and hopefully we could learn from each other. I’m not sure what outcome you were picturing that would be fulfilling. I’d love to know”.
The fact that these two young men (one identified as Jack McIntosh) felt emboldened enough to keep pushing, as though Tan was the one being unreasonable shows how little they actually know about how to be a good ally.
You want to be one? Then don’t put pressure on women to take time out of their day to inform you. Don’t offer vague explanations. And especially, don’t expect a woman to come and meet two random male strangers to talk about perspective. It’s pretty simple.
Oh wait, no, there’s more. If you want to be a good ally, maybe don’t record a ridiculous podcast in the follow-up, where you attempt to share your side. Because, mate, your side isn’t relevant.
McIntosh has since deleted the response reel from his TikTok account, but a good samaritan saved it so we can share here. It’s an excellent lesson in what not to do as a hopeful ally.
Your best bet to start? Pick up a book. Read some articles. Watch some content. Just don’t rely on women to school you.
@loomingsorrowdescentt Knew this would be a dirty delete.. Here's the full Jack Mac "apology" video for those wanting it. He has since deleted his whole account I think..
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