Last week, Iraq changed it’s Personal Status Laws to completely demolish human dignity.
Unfortunately, allowing child marriage from the age of nine for girls is just the start of these legal changes. This change in law also means that men can take full and unquestionable, unchallengeable custody of children after divorce. It also means that marital rape might be technically legal. The most optimistic hope for women is that they’ll be lucky and marry a good man who won’t exploit these laws.
Our hearts break for the girls who are getting married at nine or 12 years and who will live a life of slavery. Our hearts shatter for the women who’ll be separated from their children after divorce. Our hearts break for the children and teenage girls who are already being exploited in temporary marriages and not given their full legal or social rights.
Happy, wholesome nurturing families are integral to living a full human existence. Unfortunately, a family cannot stand on the foundations of child marriage, control domestic violence or inequality.
I have so much survivor’s guilt that I was lucky and escaped Iraq.
Rahma Health
At Rahma Health, we are committed to empowering parents to provide the best possible start in life for their children. We focus on early childhood (0-5), recognising the critical role that supportive, stable, and nurturing environments play in a child’s development. However, child marriage hinders parents’ ability to meet their children’s needs and creates a cycle of disadvantage that can span generations.
A parent’s age, physical readiness, psychological readiness, level of education and social supports all significantly impact their ability to provide for their children’s physical, emotional, and psychological needs.
We are condemning generations to a sub-human existence by allowing this tragedy. We are condemning our societies. We are hindering all the healing that Iraq needs to do after the wars and political turmoil it’s been subjected to. This is a catastrophic step in the wrong direction.
I have spoken to adult women in Iraq who got married at 12, or 14, or 17. They lament at how their lives had been thrown away. The 12-year-old we spoke, let’s call her Sara, fears her husband so much. She is now 27 and has three children. She hasn’t experienced a childhood at all and resents her children. No matter how much she tries, she perceives that her children were part of the events which stole her life away from her. She has never had a chance to develop the maturity and strength of identity required to be a mother.
Sara is profoundly terrified of her husband. One small example of this that we witnessed is how he forbids her from taking any photos of herself. Her whole body shakes when anyone is taking a photo in case they accidentally take a photo of her and cause him to abuse her. She shakes like an abused, petrified vulnerable child.
Centuries of political exploitation caused this
It’s all intersectional and this change in law is the direct result of American neo-colonialist installation of Saddam Hussein, and capitalist exploitation of Iraq’s natural wealth in 2003, and the centuries of deliberate destabilisation of the Middle East. You can’t destroy political stability, economic stability and education without knowing that this outcome would eventuate.
We need to hold our governments and ourselves accountable for what is happening in our name. We need to see the consequences when a war is started or propagated in our name.
Islamic Law
I love Islam so much. It breaks my heart that people are using it to justify child marriage. In the same way that it breaks my heart that the Taliban are using it as a front for their oppressions.
Like every institution, religion can be used for the most atrocious, egregious oppressions and the most wonderful, kind healing. It breaks my heart that the religion that gives me calm and solace and peace is being used to justify domestic slavery, abolishment of human rights and making society regress.
Let’s all shine light in our corner of the world
All our hearts are breaking due to this change in law. While we can’t influence law in Iraq, we all have things that we can do within our spheres of influence that can make the world a better place. We can channel our grief into positive actions.
What action can you take to help?
- Be kind to people in your daily interactions, at work, and in your community. Everyone deserves kindness and respect
- Make true eye contact that truly sees others and makes space for them
- Smile with your full heart
- How can you allocate more time and energy to your own healing? We so often hurt others because we ourselves are hurting. How are you fixing your inner wounds?
- Are you reading at least 1 book a year to help you grow?
- Check where you’re spending your money: are you funding companies that are destroying the planet? Are you spending it on companies which are fuelling the Uyghur concentration camps? Are you supporting companies benefitting from the slavery in the Congo?
- Check where your super is invested. Is it invested in war, weapons, climate disaster, gambling or slavery?
- Are you paying the rent to the resilient, proud First Nations owners of Australia?
- What can you do in your daily life and work that can help make our world more ethical, equitable and kind?
You can find further resources about child marriage here.
If you or someone you know is at risk of forced or child marriage in Australia, contact the Australian Federal Police at 13 12 37 or 131 AFP. For immediate emergencies, call 000.
Organisations like 1800RESPECT and the Australian Human Rights Commission provide support, resources, and guidance for those affected by forced or child marriage.