A decade after 14 women accused Bill Cosby of rape and were ignored, a (male) comedian called Bill Cosby a rapist and suddenly the entire world was talking about it.
Now 35 women have come together for a gut wrenchingly powerful photo essay in New York Magazine. Looking at the photo, all those women and the tragically empty chair that symbolises all the women who wouldn’t or couldn’t speak out, I wish it was difficult to believe that it took so long for them to be heard.
But it isn’t difficult to believe, because this goes right to the heart of what we wish was true of rape: That rapists are recognisably evil, they look like monsters and any woman could and should know them immediately for what they are, and avoid them. Women who don’t, well, clearly they made their choice and should bear some of the responsibility. And a man who doesn’t look like a monster? Well he can’t possibly be a rapist, she must be lying, or wrong or covering something.
These are the myths about rape that we wish were true.
They’re not.
Case in point: America’s favourite TV dad. He can’t be a rapist, he’s Bill Cosby! We love him! Look at kindly dad-like pudding-loving guy! Rapists don’t look like that!
The dark truth of course, is that rapists do look like that. They just look like ordinary men. They are just ordinary men.
Most rape doesn’t look like an episode from Law & Order. Most rapes occur at home, most rapists know their victim, most rapists look like a friend or a partner, and not all rapes leave cuts and brusies.
While we cling to the myths, men like Cosby will continue to get away with rape because they don’t look like rapists.
Except that they do.