How many high level sporting coaches, or leaders in general for that matter, consider the way they treat their partners and families to be influential? Wallabies coach and former rugby union player Michael Cheika does. He says that walking off the rugby field and being affectionate and caring to his wife and children sets a positive example for the players.
“It shows them they can be wielding an axe one minute and pushing a pram the next, and that both things are okay to do. I think the only thing a man should be is true to himself. He shouldn’t be someone else just because he read it in a magazine or saw it on TV or in a video game.”
Michael Cheika has spoken openly about his and his team’s ideas about masculinity, strength and vulnerability in a podcast series for Dove and Wake Up. As part of a campaign called Men + Care, Dove and the Wake Up Project have teamed up with high profile, successful men to talk about their changing views on masculinity, strength and caring.
At its core, the campaign challenges the idea that boys don’t cry. It aims to turn on its head the idea that masculinity is found only in traditional notions of physical strength, aggression, power, influence and emotional toughness. It proposes instead that true masculine strength comes from empathy, compassion, caring and an ability to express one’s emotions honestly. One of the key focuses of the campaign is investigating areas that traditionally align themselves with rigid ideas about masculinity – such as professional men’s sport.
Michael Cheika thinks it is vital to change men’s perception that there is only one way to be a ‘real man’ and to resist stereotypes.
“There is always the stereotype that comes with growing up in our society where boys are supposed to be doing one thing and girls are supposed to be doing another,” he said. “But the thing is, we want a team made up of different kinds of characters – we want lovers and fighters and jokers, hard men and quiet types and bookworms. That’s what makes a great team.”
Cheika encourages his team to be open and honest with each other about all aspects of their lives, rugby-related and otherwise. He said the more they do this, the better they operate as a team.
Conversations such as this with one with Cheika will be aired as part of a long-form podcast series exploring what ‘real strength’ means to contemporary men. A series of high profile men explore an updated and helpful version of masculinity that focuses on emotional honesty, care, kindness, compassion and how being vulnerable is an act of bravery.
It comes following a study of men’s perceptions of the expectations of masculinity placed on them – 91% of men said that they respect when other men are able to express their emotions, but 62% said they don’t feel comfortable doing so themselves in case it is perceived as a sign of weakness.
Encouragingly, 86% of men surveyed said that the concept of masculinity has changed since their father’s generation, and 90% said they personally believe showing compassion and empathy as a man is a sign of strength rather than weakness.
“It’s an interesting time for men in Australia, with a new idea of real strength emerging. The research shows that men believe masculinity today is measured beyond traditional notions of power, affluence and physical strength, yet the overwhelming majority think the way masculinity is depicted in the media doesn’t reflect this shift,” Dove Marketing Director Jon McCarthy said.
Wake Up Project founder Jono Fisher said the results of the survey “really highlight the importance of starting a new conversation around what constitutes real strength in a man. These conversations are about giving men permission to be more emotionally honest in their family lives, workplaces and in society at large”.
What do you think masculinity means in 2015?