To celebrate Father’s Day this year, I’m throwing a challenge out there to all the men in my life who are dads, and I invite you to do the same.
I’m calling time on the ‘dad’ phrases – you know, the little ones that are actually big ones. The comments about ‘babysitting’ your kids, ‘giving mum a break’ or even ‘watching the kids’.
No, sorry. You’re being a parent. You’re doing your job – as a father. And it’s time that we collectively spoke up and put these phrases to bed.
These comments have long been a no-go in my household, and I’ve been known to call out friends who have alluded to being on ‘dad duty’ or scoffed at the thought of being in charge of a birthday cake. With two young sons, I’m acutely attuned to the impact that accepting phrases like this have on little minds. They shape their perception of the role of parents, and I want more for them than that.
Even a well-meaning phrase like ‘you’re such a good dad’ for coming to a school event highlights the low baseline level we have for dads.
The truth is, we’re doing dads a disservice by accepting comments like this, and it’s time our language, expectations and celebrations caught up with the reality of modern fatherhood.
So this Father’s Day, let’s give dads the greatest gift of all – equal parental expectations.
Because, believe it or not, holding our dads up to a higher standard not only helps them, but has ripples on gender equality within society. It allows mums to step into fulfilling careers and kids to develop more expansive ideas about gender roles.
But, let’s also celebrate how far we’ve come.
From fathers not being allowed into delivery rooms in the 1950s, to new parental leave policies of 2025 that allow dads to take the much-needed time to bond with their new children and help their partners after birth. It’s exciting and it’s a relief to see how much fatherhood has changed over the years.
Fathers now spend three times more hours per week on childcare than they did in 1965 and there are rising numbers of stay-at-home fathers and men in caregiving professions.
We need to call these changes out – to celebrate them and show men that they can and should demand more when it comes to society’s expectations of their engagement in fatherhood.
So, this Father’s Day, while you celebrate the dads in your life, also celebrate and acknowledge the small things that add up to be the big things in equal parenting: like remembering to pack the library books on Wednesdays, buying the birthday gifts or tracking down which child has grown out of their shoes before they need it.
My own 70+ dad who comes from a generation with more rigid views of what men should and should not do became the self proclaimed laundry leader in retirement!
And let’s celebrate and call out those dads who have already made this shift – and challenge the rest to step up into full partnership.
Because gender equality isn’t just about boardrooms and pay gaps – it starts in our living rooms, at school pick ups and in the thousand small moments where we decide who carries the load.
True gender equality happens when dads don’t get extra credit for being present parents – when it’s simply expected, normalised and celebrated as part of being a fully engaged person who has chosen to have children.