Ten years ago, I flipped my life and career on its head. I left a 16-year executive role, relocated across the country with my young son, walked away from an 18-year relationship, and let go of the identity that once made me feel impressive.
All I had was a gut feeling that something needed to change. That success, at least the version I’d been chasing, wasn’t making me feel happy, fulfilled, or human.
The truth? I was burnt out. I didn’t recognise myself without the job title, the pay slip, or the polished LinkedIn bio. My nervous system was shot, and I was clinging to a version of life that looked good on paper but felt painfully empty.
This isn’t just about me. It’s about anyone sitting in the void between what’s expected and what actually feels aligned. If you’re questioning what’s next or wondering if it’s too late to do something more meaningful, this is for you.
Here are 10 truths that have shaped the last decade of my zigzag career, a path built on purpose, not permission.
Fear is a signpost, not a stop sign
The experience:
Every major shift I’ve made career, relationship, identity was drenched in fear. But fear didn’t mean stop. It meant something meaningful was on the other side.
The takeaway:
Your body is wired to keep you safe, not to help you grow. Fear is data. Where there’s tension, pay attention, it’s likely to expose the answer you’ve been looking for yet avoided.
The reflection:
What would change if you stopped trying to avoid fear and started using it as a compass?
Action breeds clarity, not overthinking
The experience:
No plan ever gave me certainty. But every bold, messy actionlike pitching before I felt ready, gave me feedback, direction, and momentum.
The takeaway:
You don’t figure it out first, then act. You act, then figure it out. Clarity is earned in motion.
The reflection:
What’s one small, uncomfortable action that could teach you more than another month of planning?
Expertise isn’t given. It’s claimed.
The experience:
I watched brilliant women stay silent, doubting their value. I did it too until I launched a whitepaper to challenge the system that led us to believe we weren’t enough.
The takeaway:
You don’t need to wait to be called an expert. You just need to stop apologising for what you already know.
The reflection:
Where are you still waiting for permission to be credible?
Visibility isn’t vanity, it’s leverage
The experience:
Doing great work in silence did nothing for my impact. Sharing my voice messy and imperfect is what opened doors.
The takeaway:
Visibility isn’t about ego. It’s about being seen for what you stand for. No one can back what they can’t see.
The reflection:
Where are you hiding your voice when it could be opening doors?
Without space there can be no change
The experience:
The real shifts didn’t come from hustling they came from pausing. From creating enough space to notice what needed to change and act upon it.
The takeaway:
You can’t build something new when you’re reacting all the time. Space gives you clarity. Without it, you’ll repeat what no longer fits.
The reflection:
What would become possible if you let stillness be part of the strategy?
You can’t get yeses without nos
The experience:
Most of my first pitches flopped. No responses. Rejections. But I kept going and eventually the right yeses landed.
The takeaway:
Rejection is a byproduct of asking for more. If you’re hearing no, it means you’re trying. Keep going.
The reflection:
What would change if you saw every no as a sign, you’re in the game and moving closer to an even bigger yes?
You don’t need permission to lead differently
The experience:
When I walked away from my corporate title, I wasn’t just questioning what was next I was questioning who I was without it. No team. No esteemed email signature. No external validation. Was I still seen as a leader? Or worse, had I just made myself irrelevant?
What I’ve since learned through lived experience and research is this: leadership has never been about titles. It’s about presence. It’s about the decisions you make when no one’s watching, the questions you’re brave enough to ask when everyone else stays silent, and the impact you leave behind.
And the women I work with now? They’re not waiting to be chosen. They’re rewriting what leadership looks like from the inside out.
The takeaway:
You don’t need a title to lead you need conviction. The problem isn’t that women aren’t leading. It’s that the system still rewards performance over purpose, and noise over nuance. The women building the future aren’t waiting for permission. They’re making impact in ways the old rules never accounted for.
The reflection:
How would you lead if you didn’t care what anyone else thought?
Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a way of being.
The experience:
I ticked every box: job, house, relationship and still felt empty. It wasn’t until I let go of that checklist and rebuilt from the inside out that I understood happiness isn’t a goal. It’s a mindset, a daily practice, a way of moving through life.
The takeaway:
You don’t need to feel happy all the time. You need to build a life that can hold both joy and discomfort and stay curious through it all.
The reflection:
If happiness wasn’t something to earn, what would you stop chasing?
Proof wins over hype
The experience:
I created the Proof Over Hype masterclass after seeing too many talented women overlooked while louder voices dominated. Data changes that. Evidence wrapped in your unique insight earns trust.
The takeaway:
You don’t have to prove your worth with noise. You can do it with outcomes, insights, and integrity.
The reflection:
Are you hoping people will notice or are you showing them why they should?
The long game is the only game worth playing
The experience:
There were years I questioned whether any of it was working and yet something inside me told me to keep building. A decade later, the compound impact is undeniable.
The takeaway:
Forget the quick wins. Sustainable impact takes time, care, and consistency. That’s the game that actually matters as it means you exist long after the fluff is forgotten.
The reflection:
Are you building something for this year or something that still matters five years from now?
The wrap
Here’s the thing: you don’t need to blow up your life tomorrow like I did. But if you’re reading this, you already feel it something’s off. The version of success you’ve been sold no longer fits; perhaps it never did. You’re craving something with more meaning, more real-world impact, more you in it.
Start there!
You don’t need a perfect plan. Just the next brave move.
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