The recent debate over the proposed changes to Paid Parental Leave in the Fair Work Act has drawn criticism from several Coalition MPs including Andrew Hastie, Barnaby Joyce, Tony Pasin, and Henry Pike, who raised what they called “concerns” and “unintended consequences” of the Bill.
As a woman and a mother, I watched these four white men stand up in Parliament and express what looked more like performative outrage than genuine concern.
Tony Pasin argued that while paid parental leave should be available to parents and those who wish to become parents, it “shouldn’t be available to people who don’t wish to be parents.” This statement implies that women might exploit the system, an assumption that is not only offensive but deeply ignorant of the realities of pregnancy and loss.
Henry Pike went further, questioning whether the Bill’s definition of eligibility might include cases of stillbirth resulting from late-term abortion. He said, “I hope that is not the case and I hope within this bill we are not including that.” I’m sorry, but what? I’m confident I speak for the majority of women when I say: WTF.
I’ve had three children. And with each pregnancy, my body was pushed to its absolute limits. I was violently ill every time. With my third, I lost 8 kilos in just two months from relentless vomiting that didn’t stop until the day I gave birth. I’ve had three caesareans. The first came after 17 hours of labour and 1.5 hours of pushing, only to end in an emergency surgery because my baby still wouldn’t come out.
This is the reality of pregnancy. It’s not just sore, leaking breasts. It’s back pain, swollen ankles, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and emotional chaos. It’s the hormonal rollercoaster of IVF that leaves you feeling like a stranger in your own skin. Our bodies stretch, tear, swell, and reshape to carry life. We endure pain, fear, and sacrifice physically and emotionally.
So let me ask: what woman goes through all of that for seven or eight months and then suddenly decides, “Actually, I’ve changed my mind. I want my summer body back, so I’ll just have a late-term abortion”? No mother does that. Ever. The only time a late-term abortion is considered is when a qualified medical professional tells us we have no choice—when our health, our life, or the life of our baby is at risk. Or when we feel that gut-wrenching silence inside us, and we know something is wrong. And then we’re told the unthinkable: our baby has died. A stillbirth. A grief so deep it rewires your soul.
This isn’t about convenience. It’s about survival. It’s about heartbreak. And it’s about respecting the reality of what women go through, not questioning our motives or denying us support when we need it most.
So don’t come at me with this offensive rubbish about women exploiting paid parental leave by seeking late-term abortions for no reason. That idea is not just insulting, it’s absurd. No woman goes through the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy only to casually opt out at the final stretch. These decisions are never made lightly. They are made in consultation with medical professionals, often in moments of unimaginable grief or danger.
Whether a parent brings a baby home or loses that child through no fault of their own, they deserve paid parental leave. Grief doesn’t disqualify you from needing time to heal. And let’s be clear: men have no business standing on their moral soapboxes, preaching to women about what’s right or wrong when it comes to our bodies and our babies. These are decisions we make under pressure, in pain, and often with anguish.
Funny how no one ever tells men what they can and can’t do with their bodies. I have “concerns” too—about Viagra. Maybe we should legislate that men stop taking it and just give up sex altogether. See how ridiculous that sounds? That’s exactly how it feels when men try to regulate women’s reproductive choices.
This isn’t just about paid parental leave. It’s about the constant policing of women’s bodies. From abortion laws to dress codes, from breastfeeding in public to access to contraception, women are constantly told what they can and can’t do. We are shamed for terminating pregnancies, for not having children, for having too many children, for working while raising kids, for staying at home. We are judged for our choices no matter what they are.
It’s time to stop. It’s time to listen to women. It’s time to trust women. Paid parental leave is not a privilege—it’s a right. And it should be extended to all parents, including those who experience the unimaginable loss of a stillbirth. We carry the physical, emotional, and psychological toll of pregnancy. We deserve respect, not regulation.