“We are all driven by passion.”
It’s an odd thing to hear from a former politician, even odder when that politician is Jeff Kennett, and odder still when you agree wholeheartedly with him.
The Brave Foundation is a support network for teenage mothers, set up by Bernadette Black. It’s the perfect combination of practical support, networking and resources, all aimed at ensuring girls are able to finish their education, look after their children and create a happy, independent life for their families. Brave is very clear that their support has to extend beyond just young mothers, that young fathers, extended families, medical services and particularly schools, also need resources. They look after the whole village.
Bernadette Black is one of those amazing women who’ve taken lessons learned through her own adversity and used them to bring an entire community together. Pregnant at 16, she experienced first hand the isolation and shame so often felt by teenage mothers.
“Throughout my pregnancy, so many people looked at me critically and judgementally and made me think that I should be embarrassed and ashamed. I desperately searched for support and inspiration from others who had been in my situation but found none.”
Unplanned pregnancy too often attracts judgemental response from the outside world, the hilariously terrible phrase “she got herself pregnant”, accompanied by self-righteously pursed lips, is something many young mothers are too familiar with.
When Bernie was trying to find her way in a school, a burgeoning teen relationship and a community that was not prepared to deal with a pregnant 16 year old, she promised herself she would do three things:
- Be a good mother
- Complete her education
- Write a book to help and encourage others in her situation.
If her bright, happy, successful children are anything to go by, she certainly achieved the first. She’s a qualified nurse and a strong national advocate for teen mothers, so yes, another huge tick in the second box. And her book, Brave Little Bear, was published in 2006.
Bernie’s story is not the stereotypical teenage mother, so pruriently perpetuated by sensationalist media, but it is actually the typical one. She was a good student, from a “nice” family, head over heels in love with her first boyfriend. She was sure they weren’t going to “do anything”, and therefore didn’t think there would be any need for contraception. It would be a very unusual person indeed who could claim they’d never been mistaken about where their emotions could lead them.
We are all driven by passion.
Unplanned pregnancy happens to all women, old, young, married, single, rich and poor. The only thing about the teen pregnancy rate in Australia that should be surprising is that it is relatively low.
There were a number of women at the Brave Foundation launch who were, or had been, teenage mothers. All of them told me that at some point during their pregnancy, someone had said to them that they had ruined their lives, or the lives of the father of their babies, by going ahead with the pregnancy.
All of them also told me that their baby was the best thing that had ever happened to them. All of them, with support from Bernie and the networks she set up, had finished school, many of them also went on to university. And all of them said that would have been difficult, if not impossible, without help.
Teen pregnancy is never going to go away. Proper education about contraceptive options and making them easily available, with full confidentiality, certainly goes some way towards reducing it. And safe, legal, accessible abortion must always be an option, but passion gets the better of all of us sometimes, particularly when we are young. Nothing and nobody will ever completely prevent teenagers getting pregnant.
Bernie Black wants to make sure that when it does happen, the girls and young women struggling to deal with a life they never expected, are not doing it alone. And that they are able to make a safe, happy, independent future for themselves and their children.
What you can do to help the Brave Foundation
Like all not-for-profits, Brave needs money, and they need people to know about their services. If you know any girls or young women who have decided to go ahead with a pregnancy, or if you are involved with a school that needs some help supporting pregnant students, tell them about the Brave Foundation website. They will find it enormously helpful.
As well as asking for donations, Brave run a fundraising activity called The World’s Biggest Baby Shower. The primary focus is mother’s day, but if you know someone who is having a baby shower, tell them about this. Baby showers are wonderfully happy occasions, adding in a little extra for girls and young women who need support is a lovely way to add a bit more warmth and love to an already warm and loving day.