Do and spend whatever it takes to get through the day - Women's Agenda

Do and spend whatever it takes to get through the day

While I was on maternity leave and dealing with a particularly difficult couple of weeks, I ventured into the dangerous territory of online forums to determine if the various things I was doing to manage my baby were ‘right or wrong’.

One time, I needed to know if walking around my then three-month-old baby in a Bjorn (carrier) to get him to nap was setting me up for years of carting around a heavy toddler — and potentially him for some kind of internal damage from being bounced around for hours at a time (although he seemed perfectly content in there).

So I put my concerns out there to the mysterious motherly advisors on the internet. I got a range of long, complex answers, but the one that stood out for me required no more than a few words: do whatever it takes to get through the day.

It was the response I needed to hear, and one that I took on board for dealing with other concerns regarding how I was managing my newborn.

I couldn’t help but think the same thing when reading about a new study that finds Australians in capital cities are spending, on average, $11,000 a year simply while they’re at work: that’s on lunch, drinks, coffee, retail shopping and other ‘essentials’ one purchases through the day. Most of such spending is happening in the middle of the day, with 84% of those surveyed buying their lunch during the week.

From a personal point of view, the figures are shocking. Especially if you’re paying off a mortgage, saving for a deposit, or one to subtract what you spend at work from what you earn. It can be sickening to think just how much you’re spending throughout the year.

But then anything measured over the course of a year will come up with a figure that may seem shocking. There’s a good reason why gyms and other membership-based organisations like to quote fortnightly fees over yearly spends, and why mobile phone providers put your total contract spend in small print. Nobody wants to know how much the simple act of ‘living’ and doing the things they enjoy, actually costs them.

It comes back to guilt, which too many women feel too much of the time. But really, it should be about making the purchases you need to make to not only get through the day, but to also enjoy the day.

Yesterday, a small business owner shared with me how much she spent on childcare while she was working full time in the lead up to her kids going to school. The figure was well over six figures. It too was shocking to hear the full amount, having been accumulated over the years. But, while we’d all like childcare to be more affordable, she noted that she didn’t regret her decision to put the kids in formalised care. It kept her in the workforce, allowed her to advance her career and increase her earning capacity. Admitting she wasn’t cut out to stay at home with the kids, it also allowed her to manage her own well being. It’s an investment, she said, that’s paid off over and over and one that she’d never regret.

We all need to do what it takes to get through the day. That might be taking a run in the morning, writing detailed to-do lists or even buying lunch during the day in order to find an extra couple of minutes for managing the morning. It may mean buying a second coffee in the afternoon, ‘indulging’ in an expensive club membership.

Of course, there’s a limit to how much we can do all this and your own personal circumstances need to be considered when determining how much you can spend on what.

But seriously, let’s be kind to ourselves. It’s ok to buy your lunch, to spend a few dollars on a decent coffee, to even branch out and do a little retail shopping on the lunch break. It’s ok to enjoy your day at work.

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