Get a roomful of people to discuss getting more women into leadership and the ‘have it all’ debate will inevitably come up.
Can women have it all? Do those who’ve made it to the very top of the leadership ladder believe they have it all?
The question came up during a panel session for the launch of Gillian Fox’s book, Women of Influence, yesterday morning.
Sharing stories from the panel were Helen Trinca, managing editor of The Australian, Marina Go, Bauer GM and West Tigers Chair, One Life Live It CEO Dr Simone Ryan and PAFtec CEO Alex Birrell
Fox asked the panel if they thought young women today could have it all.
“Women can have it all, we just need to decide what our ‘all’ actually is,” said Dr Ryan, who went on to question how someone’s ‘all’ is being influenced by social media.
“There appears to be this pressure to keep up with The Joneses through social media,” she said. “People aren’t showing themselves on Facebook at 6am trying to get in the shower saying ‘hashtag gratitude!’. People only show their best selves.”
It’s true. Whether you’re on social media once a week or once an hour, you’ll continually see edited versions of other peoples’ lives. It can paint an unrealistic picture of what success can and should look like, often failing to show the reality that success in any field requires long hours, hard work and sacrifice.
Alex Birell said an individual’s definition of success is essential in trying to ‘have it all’. With three kids and a very busy leadership career, she said she’s learnt to embrace the fact “80% is the new 100%”. That is that she now has to make compromises every day, and accept she needs to rely on other people for help.
“Men can [rely on other people] subconsciously,” she said. “But women take this on tenfold. Where women may struggle is giving over that responsibility.
Dr Ryan said despite what someone might present on social media, it’s whether or not they’re looking after themselves that really counts – and may ultimately determine their level of success. “When you’re up early, exercising and eating properly, you work better,” she said.
A former heart surgeon, Dr Ryan added that every health risk factor we have sees us become 2.5% less productive at work. Most of us carry at least four such risk factors, meaning we could be working at 90% of our actual potential. “We’re all running around like mice on treadmills,” she said.
Helen Trinca said that despite working on her career as an editor, journalist and author for decades, it’s only in recent years that she’s become more comfortable with confidence and optimism.
“It’s learned optimism,” she said. “This idea that you can actually encourage yourself to flick the switch and feel more positive. It’s the notion that you can control your attitude. That’s been a big change in modern life and language.
That kind of optimism doesn’t require or need social media – no inspirational quotes, no fitness photos, #thankful hashtags or filtering through the edited accounts of other people’s lives.
The panel ended with each participant offering a quick tip for women with leadership aspirations. Below’s what they suggested:
Work hard and be opportunistic: Alex Birrell
While we don’t want to be working 18 hour days, Birrell reminded the audience you still need to work hard to achieve a leadership career. “You do need a level of commitment and passion,” she said.
Birrell added that you can plan your career as much as possible but you also need to be opportunistic.
Find your Why: Dr Simone Ryan
Find something that interests you and can actually pay the bills and understand why you’re doing, said Dr Ryan. She added that nothing beats hard work: “If you want to get paid like a hobby, then work like a hobby.”
Plan your career: Marina Go
Go said she’s been planning her career – in five year segments – since she was 16. “I’ve planned my career but I’ve also taken opportunities,” she said. “The great thing is that if you have a plan and you get offered an opportunity, you know whether or not to take it.”
Go broad: Helen Trinca
Trinca warned women against being too “narrow” with their work and aspirations. “Some young women follow a narrow template of what it is to be successful,” she said. “Think outside the area of business you’re in. Go broader.”
She also offered another tip for those who may have heard about a temp receptionist in the UK being sent home from work this week for not wearing heels: “When appropriate, wear flat shoes to work!”