Imagine if we could believe there was “one reason” why Paul Thijssen decided to brutally murder his colleague, water polo coach Lilie James.
At least one news headline this week wants you to believe there is such an answer, declaring that an expert psychologist has revealed why Thijssen did what he did under the headline “Reason ex murdered school coach Lilie”. The story goes on to share the views of a psychologist who declares that Thijssen was a “psychopath”. The psychologist can also “reveal” that it was a “planned, premeditated attack”.
Such things might be true, but they don’t explain everything, and we shouldn’t find any comfort or perceived safety in such ideas.
It’s easier to explain a murderer’s action as a result of him being a clear-cut psychopath, rather than to know he is a product of a wider and much more complex insidious social problem. It’s simpler to explain him as an individual who is an anomaly amongst the otherwise “good men” who look similar to him and also went to “good” schools and lived in “good” suburbs.
Another common line we’ve heard in media reports this past week – and one that was also repeated in the above-mentioned story — is that “Paul Thijssen killed school colleague Lillie James, who had broken up with him after dating for five weeks.” The later part of the sentence again aims to present a possible “reason” for why he snapped, to assure us that the woman who was brutally murdered had somehow done something to contribute to somebody else killing her.
The obsession with why Thijssen “snapped” has gone into overdrive this week, more so than the search for explanations in the other long lineup of murderers – with five women killed in the past two weeks.
Thijssen’s story, we want to believe, looks different to others. He looks youthful and smiley in the many photographs we’ve seen. He went to a private school. He was a sports captain. A champion sportsman! “Thijssen was once a respected school leader, sports captain,” one headline screamed. Other headlines preferred to focus on James’ own actions, like daring to end a relationship, “Woman found dead in Sydney school bathroom recently ended relationship…”
Another headline actually examined the role of career choices in the murder. “After school sports jobs for Lilie James and Paul Thijsee led to horror Sydney CBD murder”. This was excellently “fixed” by Jane Gilmore to read, “Paul Thijssen’s decision to kill Lilie James was the only thing that led to her murder.” Then there are the searches for potential safety mistakes made and security breaches, as well as “reasons” behind why Thijsee and James “were still at school” so late (it should be an easy answer, she worked there).
These searches for explanations play on our belief that violence against women only happens in certain areas or communities – a belief that is false, and a continuing narrative that is dangerous.
As Katherine Berney, who leads the National Women’s Safety Alliance, shared with Women’s Agenda this week, the majority of Australias don’t believe that violence occurs in all communities. The research by ANROWS found almost half of Australians (47 per cent) don’t believe violence against women is a problem in their own suburb or town.
Berney also declared any idea there is simply “one linear solution, agency, leader, or organisation” that will change this situation is not only naive, but dangerous. Instead, we need many initiatives and policy changes to work together for lasting systemic cultural change. Ending domestic, family and sexual violence should be a national movement, she wrote, and one that is the responsibility of everyone.
That starts with ending our comfort in believing there can be any one reason. We can’t rest easy with the idea that Thijssen was a monstrous anomaly, because the numbers show that domestic and family violence happens everywhere.
If you are concerned about your behaviour, or about someone using violence, call Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491.
If you or someone you know is in need of help due to sexual assault or family and domestic violence contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732