Spare me who’s getting hit with a political stick. Talk to me about the people marriage equality affects - Women's Agenda

Spare me who’s getting hit with a political stick. Talk to me about the people marriage equality affects

In last night’s lengthy party room meeting, Malcolm Turnbull reportedly observed that denying a free vote on marriage equality would give Bill Shorten a stick with which to hit the government every day. My heart sank reading that.

Yes, this issue is likely to be politically problematic but that pales in comparison to the personal ramifications. Not for Tony Abbott or Bill Shorten, but for the hundreds and thousands of Australians who want, and deserve, to be treated equally.

Spare me who’s being hit with a political stick. Talk to me about the stick that entrenching discrimination against same-sex relationships gives gay and lesbian adults, kids and teenagers to hit themselves with. The stick it gives those who oppose same-sex marriage, to hit those who are in same sex relationships.

To me, Turnbull’s observation sadly underscored the chasm that appears to exist between our elected representatives and the community. Ninety-nine coalition MPs gathered for six hours last night to discuss same sex relationships. I wonder how much of that time was dedicated not to the politics of this issue, but to the personal?  

I wonder how many people in that room spoke about, or even gave thought to, their brothers or sisters, their daughters or sons, their cousins, their nieces, their nephews, their colleagues, their friends, for whom this isn’t a political issue but a matter of integrity and equality?

Same-sex marriage has become a political football but it is not a political issue. It’s a personal issue.  And it’s about much more than marriage. It’s about stating unequivocally that regardless of who a person loves they are equal.  It’s about being unequivocal that regardless of who a person loves they are equal.  

And yet that, the very heart of this deeply personal issue, was conspicuously absent from the Prime Minister’s press conference last night and most of the coalition’s commentary today. Far more of the commentary has focused on the division within the party, the mechanics of how this change could be made, the ramifications for those who support change and those who oppose it.

There’s been nary a mention of the people it directly affects. Or the reasons it matters. Tony Abbott and his colleagues are doggedly fighting this war but they seemingly can’t even bring themselves to identify their true opponents.

Tony Abbott can speak of this as new generational challenge, of disappointing “some” and he can characterise this “an issue” that might come up again (it will). He can talk political commitments, party positions and manoeuvres, but can he speak of those he’s denying equality? It seems not.

It’s reported that last night Senator Eric Abetz explained that gay men don’t want to marry, proved apparently, by the fact Italian designers Dolce & Gabbana never married.

I wonder is the Senator tested this theory? Has he spoken to any gay men or lesbian women about this? Has he spoken to the parents or siblings of individuals who have endured the anguish of coming out in a society that belittles same sex relationships? Has he stopped to consider why 72% of Australians support this change?

Last night as my head hit the pillow I started to think about my exposure to people who have experienced or endured coming out. 

The idea that it is only through personal exposure that one can come to appreciate the significance of an issue, is not particularly inspiring. Does one have to become, or know someone, who is disabled, ill or gay, for example, to recognise the difficulties those things present? Hopefully not.

But the reality is very few Australians could honestly claim not to have some personal exposure with this. Who doesn’t have a family member, a friend or a colleague who is gay? That being the case, who can, put their hand on their heart and say in all sincerity those in same sex relationships are treated the same way as their heterosexual friends or relatives? They can’t. Because they aren’t.

And that’s precisely why equal marriage matters. Legislating for equal marriage sets in stone that same sex relationships are afforded the same respect as heterosexual relationships. In symbol and in substance that’s powerful.

Last night Tony Abbott said his party-room colleagues could be proud. Of what? For entrenching inequality? For denying Australians the progress that Ireland, the United States, Britain, New Zealand and Canada, to name a few, afford their citizens?

Earlier this year Barack Obama remarked on the US Supreme Court’s historic ruling to legalise same-sex marriage.

“This ruling is a victory for America. This decision affirms what millions of Americans already believe in their hearts: When all Americans are treated as equal, we are all more free. In doing so, they’ve reaffirmed that all Americans are entitled to the equal protection of the law, that all people should be treated equally, regardless of who they are or who they love.”

Not only does that leadership elude us here in Australia, but so too does any comprehension of the significance of this issue. Whilst other countries are busily dismantling this discrimination, our government seems wedded to entrenching it. At any cost.

×

Stay Smart! Get Savvy!

Get Women’s Agenda in your inbox