We’re living through uncertain times—globally and in our day-to-day lives—and leadership today demands something more than just decisiveness. It calls for a careful blend of strength and empathy. That’s not always easy to strike, and I certainly didn’t always get it right. But I did learn a few things along the way.
During my time as Director-General of the Australian Signals Directorate (ASD), I was often reminded that leadership doesn’t look the same for everyone, and that’s a good thing. I came to appreciate that the way many women lead, often with a focus on inclusion and connection, brings a perspective that’s especially valuable in moments of crisis.
Yet even now, in 2025, women in leadership—especially in male-dominated sectors—still face stereotypes that can quietly (or not so quietly) undercut their contributions. It’s disheartening how easily language can frame women’s leadership styles as liabilities. Where a man might be seen as “decisive” or “commanding,” a woman showing similar resolve might be called “bossy” or “cold” or worse! These judgments don’t just sting, they shape opportunities, influence hiring, and feed into ongoing biases that can limit growth for individuals and teams alike.
I’ve witnessed these patterns firsthand, not just in how others were spoken about, but also in how I was perceived. Even seemingly small things (like taking notes in a meeting) could be misinterpreted as a lack of authority rather than conscientiousness. None of us are immune to unconscious bias, but we do have a responsibility to recognise and question it when it appears.
When took on the role of ASD, I knew I wouldn’t be able to lead exactly like those who came before me—and I didn’t try to. I did what many women do: I listened, I adapted, and I brought my whole self to the role. And part of that included acknowledging the pressure we all feel, not just professionally, but personally. Especially in difficult times, I believe we benefit from leaders who can turn empathy into transformation.
For instance, something as small as moving our daily operations briefing from 9:00am to 9:30am made a big difference. It gave parents, including me, a chance to do school drop-offs without guilt or stress. I also encouraged people to avoid after-hours meetings unless absolutely necessary. We worked in high-pressure environments, often handling deeply distressing information, so making space for life outside the office wasn’t just nice to have, it was essential for resilience.
When people hear “former spy,” they tend to imagine a certain persona. Steely, secretive, maybe a little distant. But that’s not how leadership looked in our team. Openness, compassion, laughter and flexibility weren’t signs of weakness; they were necessary for the kind of work we did and the wellbeing of the people doing it.
If I could offer any advice to women navigating high-pressure leadership today, it would be this:
Outcomes over optics
Being first in the office or last to leave isn’t a measure of your worth. It’s okay to let go of performative busyness. What matters is what you deliver. Real impact often comes from clear focus, not constant visibility.
Be transparent about your priorities and boundaries
I was honest with myself and my team that my family came first. That honesty helped set expectations and gave others permission to do the same. During certain times of day—like the chaos of the “witching hour” with young kids—I couldn’t join meetings, but I was available for a quick call. We made it work, together.
Encourage reflection in your team
It’s okay not to have all the answers or to be uncertain about your path. I often asked my team, “Why do you want to be here?” It wasn’t a test—it was a prompt to reconnect with purpose. Especially in demanding roles, people need to feel a sense of meaning in the work they do.
I don’t claim to have perfected leadership. Not by a long shot. But I’ve come to believe that leadership in challenging times isn’t about being the loudest or deepest voice in the room. It’s about being steady, fair, and empathetic. Many women bring this naturally—and yet they still feel pressure to lead like men.
If we want the next generation to thrive, we have to create systems that welcome different styles of leadership, rather than asking women to fit a mould that was never made for them. We need workplaces that allow people to be strong and soft, high-performing and deeply empathetic. And we need to also help men be liberated from the expected stereotypes that also bind them.
That’s the kind of leadership I hope we’ll see more of: calm in a storm, clear under pressure, and empathetic, even when the stakes are high.
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