Actor Jonah Hill and internet personality Darius Jackson have made unfavourable headlines in recent days for concerning comments aimed at each of their girlfriends.
Now, their rhetoric is sparking discussion around how ‘men are using therapy-like’ language to hide their misogyny in relationships, and what many online are claiming is emotional abuse.
Given the public profiles of both Hill and Jackson, their problematic behaviour raises further questions: Is what they present a sign of a deeper societal issue? One where men who attempt to appear outwardly progressive can get away with flagrant sexism and coercive control?
Jonah Hill’s alleged weaponization of ‘therapy talk’
In Hill’s case, his alleged texts to his ex-partner, Sarah Brady, have caused widespread criticism of ‘therapy talk’ being misused and weaponised to control another person.
Over the weekend, Brady – a surfer and law student with considerably less power and profile than Hill – accused Hill of emotional abuse, after sharing screenshots of alleged messages he had sent her during their relationship. The texts show Hill’s “boundaries” for their relationship, including requirements for her not to surf with other men or post pictures of herself in a bathing suit.
Many people online have since commented on Hill’s alleged texts, pointing out that if these requirements were his “boundaries” then he shouldn’t have been dating a surfer. And others have taken the discussion even further, noting that real “boundaries” are things that you set for yourself, not for other people.
Darius Jackson’s mom shaming comments
In a similarly controlling manner to Hill, the boyfriend of well-known actor Keke Palmer and father to her son, Jackson, has come under fire after a series of tweets criticising one of Palmer’s outfits in a way that has seen many people on social media claim is ‘mom shaming’ and hypocritical.
After Palmer posted pictures of herself wearing a sheer, black dress over a bodysuit to attend a July 4 Usher concert, a tweet popped up from Jackson with a video of Palmer and the words: “It’s the outfit tho… you a mom”.
A follow-up tweet from Jackson, doubled down on his initial comment, reading that: “We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife & mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others & he gets told how much of a hater he is. This is my family & my representation. I have standards & morals to what I believe. I rest my case.”
It’s worth noting the similarities between Jackson’s language in the above tweets and Jonah Hill’s text messages.
Whereas Hill attempted to control the public image of Brady’s body by using what he claimed was his “boundaries”, Jackson seems to be asserting a similar assumption of having the right to control Palmer’s body, claiming it’s his “standards and morals” that make his sexist comments acceptable.
It wasn’t long before widespread public outrage over Jackson’s remarks went viral, and both Jackson’s Twitter and Instagram accounts vanished.
Powerful responses from women
Despite their partners’ poor behaviour, both Brady and Palmer are using their public platforms to call out the abuse and advocate for other women who’ve had similar experiences.
In addition to having gone public with the alleged text messages of Hill, Brady reposted an image of herself that she says Hill had made her take down during their relationship.
And in a video posted to Instagram, Palmer announced the release of new merchandise – shirts with the words “I’M A MOTHA” and “Stevie to the Bullshit,” which seem to refer to the incident with Jackson.
The video also shows Palmer serenading her newborn with the Stevie Wonder song, Isn’t She Lovely.
Emotional abuse is widespread
The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) defines emotional abuse as occurring when a person is subjected to certain behaviours or actions aimed at preventing or controlling their behaviour, causing them emotional harm or fear. This is also known as coercive control.
This kind of abuse certainly isn’t limited to high-profile situations like those alleged above. As the ABS estimates, around 2.2 million women in Australia are affected by partner emotional abuse, and an estimated 1.4 million men also experience partner emotional abuse.
It takes courage to call out this behaviour in any situation, but especially when it involves a high-profile individual with fans and supporters. The public debate that the above examples have sparked is powerful and could help others in identifying whether what’s being said and asked of them is abuse. It’s also powerful in highlighting that such behaviour is not OK.