Yesterday, I told my kids I was working on a piece on how to talk to your children about the Voice. Little did I know that conversation would lead me to writing about what we can learn from our children about the significance of this referendum.
My kids and I talk about big ideas all the time.
I grew up in a political family, so discussions like this were de rigueur, but I know this wasn’t the experience of many of my peers. I was glad for this upbringing because we were always asked for our points of view on the things that mattered. My childhood was peppered with dinner debates about land rights, the gender pay gap and preferential voting.
So, when it came to yesterday’s conversation about the October Voice referendum with my kids, I put some serious thought into how to discuss it with them. For many Australians, this is a sensitive topic and while I will be voting yes, I wanted to enable them to navigate discussions with their friends (whose parents may have different views) as respectfully as possible.
As a parent, I think it’s important to lay the groundwork for these discussions with a few age-appropriate facts, so I came armed with stats about closing the gap, why this is different to the Apology and the experience of First Nations children vis-à-vis their non-indigenous peers. I encourage my kids to question and challenge before they arrive at an opinion and usually then test their view with a few counterpoints.
Like most great kid chats, it began in the car. “What do you guys know about the Voice, not the TV show?” This turns out to have been an unnecessarily condescending start.
My eldest, 11, replied casually, her mouth full of cupcake, “It’s the decision we are making about saying in the Constitution that First Nations people were here first, because they obviously were, and also making sure that the government listens to them when they make decisions about things in their lives.”
A neat synopsis.
“How do you guys know about it?”
“We watch BTN,” she replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
We then went on to have an excellent exchange about truth-telling in our history. It was explained to me that it’s rude to just arrive on someone’s land and pretend they weren’t here, “especially because of how much they love their country”.
Of course, the constitution needs to change, they agreed. We can’t have a constitution that only talks about the last little while and not the 60,000 before Captain Cook thinks he discovered Australia.
Okay, I said, and what of a voice to parliament?
This is where my youngest, seven, had a firm view. I shouldn’t be surprised. When he was little, he attended a community sessional kindergarten on our street where he became practiced in the art of acknowledging country. Each morning would begin with the “yama song”, where they would pay their respects to the Jagera and Turrbul people and promise to care for country, skies, waterways, creatures and each other.
Now at school, he is well-versed in indigenous lore and history. He has a keen interest in the repatriation of artifacts taken from communities to museums. Books about when kids were stolen from their mums and dads are read by their librarian at story time as is the beautifully illustrated children’s version of the Uluru Statement from the Heart. Every assembly starts with the school captains acknowledging country. He supports an Australian head of state and struggles to understand the relevance of royals who rarely come here, even when their own team is playing in the FIFA World Cup final.
“Giving Aboriginal people a voice to help people make decisions about them is what they have asked for so we should definitely do it,” he said. “Also, it just makes sense.”
What struck me is that, in a generation, all of this has become the norm. This is his entire lived experience of Australian childhood; his knowledge of right and wrong. Children today have an inbuilt expectation that our culture, our language and our institutions show respect for First Nations people. This is something to celebrate, but it’s also therefore critical that we don’t fail tomorrow’s leaders today.
What will these children say to us if they inherit the anger and hurt of an Australia that votes no? What will they think of us when, to Julie Bishop’s point, they are travelling abroad in their early twenties and their passport is tainted by our decision not to even recognise what happened here before the union jack was plunged into rich, red earth? How will they feel when the righteous fury of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island people is directed at them because their simple request was denied by us?
I think they’ll be angry and they’ll have every right to be.
So, if you find yourself navigating conversations with family members and friends about the Voice, I would encourage you not to prosecute it alone. Recruit the next generation. They can articulate better than most what ought to be done next month because they are the ones who will have to endure the consequences of an Australia that says No.
The Parenthood, is Australia’s leading parent advocacy group with a reach of more than 80,000 parents nationally. The Parenthood is hosting a special online event on Sept 12 on how to navigate those conversations about the upcoming Voice Referendum in an age-appropriate way. Register for this free event here.