The Oxford Dictionary has announced its Word of the Year for 2023: “rizz”. It defines the “rizz” as style, charm, or attractiveness, and the ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner.
I’ve had to explain this term to a few of my… older family members (sorry, mum and dad). A Gen Z shortening of the word “charisma”, the “rizz” is widely used for people who are smooth-talking, charming and just cool.
At least, that’s what I thought – until I searched the term on TikTok. Because it seems having the “rizz” is reserved for one group in particular: men.
It was Tom Holland, in an interview in June this year, who made the term popular. “I have no rizz whatsoever, I have limited rizz,” he said, talking about how he ended up dating superstar actress, Zendaya.
A quick search of #rizz on TikTok returned thousands of videos that have been watched millions of times by people all around the world.
Almost all of them were men doing the absolute MOST to woo an attractive (on average, white, thin, able-bodied) woman, who of course would go on a date with this man!
Sorry, did I say “most”? I meant bare minimum.
For example, one video I watched showed a man standing on a train platform and waving at a girl on the other side of the train tracks. He was trying to get her attention.
He caught the attention of a different girl, but quickly shooed her out of the way and pressed on.
Finally, the girl looked up from her phone. The man signalled for her to spin around and show off her outfit. She did so, smiling, looking giddy. The man was pleased, fanning his face.
Then he signalled for her to leave the platform and to meet him upstairs, where they could meet in closer proximity. She smiled, nodded and followed his instructions.
The video, posted by the account @rizzhighlights, was captioned: “Bro got infinite rizz.”
Look, I have to say, having the “rizz” is a welcomed relief from the modern dating world of dating apps, where men believe sending “Hey x” on Tinder is the ultimate move and they’re sure to get a reply.
One video that has genuinely made me laugh is an Aussie guy re-writing popular songs from the 2010’s to fit the names of the girl he has matched with on Hinge. He sends audio messages of him playing guitar and singing the song. Some are actually pretty clever, and to his credit, it would make him stand out from the extremely underwhelming crowd on dating apps.
But what comes next, after the rizz? I can only imagine a one-way conversation about himself at a bar.
After a second, third, even fourth date, would the “rizz” remain? Or would his magic spell he cast on that first meeting have worn off by then – and suddenly, you’re picking up his dirty clothes off the floor and reminding him about Christmas lunch, while he’s slumped in your bed playing the Xbox, not listening to a word you’re saying?
Back to my point. The Urban Dictionary defines the word as: “the quality of attracting women without even trying and being the type of man that everyone knows has the suavest personality and charm in the room.”
First of all, I can’t help but think that naming this word as the Word of the Year reinforces the same tired narrative: boy meets (selects) girl, boy woos girl, boy saves girl from eternal loneliness.
I am very aware that the term “rizz” is also used ironically, sarcastically and in jest – I’m Gen Z too, remember? I use it all the time referring to myself, especially when I expertly make a situation weird and awkward, and jokingly say I have the “rizz” to break the uncomfortable silence.
But I’m also aware that some of the millions of TikTok users would be taking “rizz” videos as dating gospel, and some men that create these thousands of videos are actually trying to show off just how cool they (think they) are.
And second of all, I think that it’s actually women who have more genuine “rizz” than men. He might have said or done that one cool thing that one time, but she will actually hold a conversation on a date. And ask about your life. And listen.
That, to me, is true “rizz”.
P.S. Petition to change “Swiftie” to Oxford Dictionary’s Word of the Year?