“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
A question many would be familiar with. Maybe you remember being asked as a kid. Maybe you asked your own child recently. Or maybe you’re like me, who still asks this question to herself at the ripe old age of 23.
I love hearing what kids have to say in their answers. Lawyers. Police officers. Hairdressers. Even gynaecologists. Young people believe they can be anything they want to be.
But this is all a “diabolical lie” told to young girls, Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker told the graduating class of 2024 at Benedictine College last week. Upon receiving his Honorary Doctor of Humane Letters degree from the Catholic college in the state of Kansas, he had a message for the “ladies present today”.
“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you,” Butker said.
“How many of you are sitting here now, about to cross this stage, and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”
In other words: ladies, forget everything you learned in your four years at university. Forget every article you’ve read, every gruelling assignment you’ve completed and handed in just before the deadline. Forget all that hard work and the thousands of dollars you poured into your degree to pursue your dream, to pursue the person you want to be when you grow up.
Now – have you heard of this new “vocation” called homemaking?
In his 20 minutes too long speech, Butker spruiked misogynistic, homophobic and transphobic – albeit “Christ-centred” – messaging to the 485 graduates at Benedictine College, the highest number of graduates in the university’s 166-year history.
He told young women that his wife Isabelle’s life “truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother”.
He told the graduates that LGTBQIA+ pride was a “deadly sin”.
He warned the graduates of the “dangerous gender ideologies” being “pushed” onto the “youth of America”.
And then he had the gall to quote a lyric from a song of his “teammate’s girlfriend” – none other than Ms Taylor Swift (unforgivable).
Social media has blown up, condemning the words of Butker and calling for the Chiefs to axe Butler from the team. The NFL’s Chief Diversity Officer Jonathan Beane told Outsports that Butker’s speech, which he gave “in his personal capacity”, does not reflect the views of the NFL.
“The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger,” Beane said.
As has been pointed out on social media, this was not an off-the-cuff speech. Butker, reading from his prepared notes, spoke in a practiced, procedural, well-executed way. Benedictine College would have been well aware of the messaging Butker intended to deliver.
In fact, they have endorsed such messaging. In search for an apology, or a statement of any kind, from Benedictine College, I instead found an article retelling the events of the ceremony, including some key quotes from Butker’s keynote speech to graduates.
“She (Isabelle) chose to be my wife and embrace one of the most important titles,” Butker said.
Don’t get me wrong, I realise that homemaking is a legitimate, valid and fucking tough job that many women choose to take up. It is undervalued and much of the time, it goes without appreciation from those who benefit from women, mothers and carers the most.
But don’t be fooled: Butker is not truly appreciating the work of Isabelle. He is using her story to prop up his own beliefs that women should be controlled. He is selling this fairytale ending – marriage, kids and Happily Ever After – without acknowledging that this American Dream for women was born out of patriarchy. Newsflash: women now have a say over who they want to be when they grow up.
What worries me the most is that 485 graduates listened to Butker, from all reports, without any protest. Perhaps they had their own misogynistic, homophobic and transphobic views confirmed by a high-profile speaker on stage. And so the perpetuation of patriarchy continues.
I just hope that the women graduates who listened to Butker’s speech do not forget their younger selves’ answers for who they want to be when they grow up.