Have you heard Meghan Trainor’s new song or seen the video clip?
If not, you might consider avoiding it, because it perpetuates gender stereotypes that belong firmly in the twentieth century and, worse still, it is incredibly catchy.
The song is called Dear Future Husband, and details all the things Trainor wants in a marriage, but the picture she paints is bleak. It involves her buying the groceries (I’m not kidding) and cooking for him, and him buying her rings and telling her she’s beautiful, even when she’s acting “crazy”.
Leaving aside the lyrics for a moment, the song’s video clip confirms that the song is underpinned by a longing for an old-fashioned marriage. Trainor is living in a perfect, white picket fenced-house in the suburbs, dressed as a 1960s housewife (apron included), baking for her husband and tending to two immaculately dressed children.
“Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know if you wanna be my one and only,” she sings.
“Tell me I’m beautiful each and every night… You got to know how to treat me like a lady, even when I’m acting crazy.”
And, perhaps worst of all – “I’ll be the perfect wife”.
Why is this so damaging? Why does it matter that Trainor paints the “perfect wife” as one who is well dressed, covered in perfectly applied make up, wearing an apron and cooking to please her husband, all the while living in a huge suburban mansion we are led to assume he paid for? What’s wrong with a society in which “acting crazy” is considered an integral part of every woman’s DNA?
Because it glorifies and glamorises the ancient gender dynamics that delivered the severe and intractable inequalities women are still struggling to eradicate today.
Trying to rid society of the consequences of these gender norms is hard enough without an insanely popular artist like Meghan Trainor coming along with her catchy hooks and harmonies and making people think this is how marriage and relationships should look.
We’ve worked hard to make sure young girls grow up valuing self-respect over subordination and video clips can set that progress back.
There is one part of the song where Trainor attempts to wind back the housewife advocacy.
“You got that 9 to 5, but baby so do I… I never learned to cook, but I can write a hook.”
This line sends an important and positive message, but it is barely noticeable among the negative gender references – and it barely makes any sense in the context of the song’s video clip. Was it thrown in for an element of plausible deniability?
I hope the intended recipient of Trainor’s letter – the future husband who perpetuates 1960s-style gender relations – no longer exists. I hope the letter writer – the woman yearning for these things – doesn’t either. The more songs and films and books that glorify antiquated stereotypes, the less likely it is that we will move past them.