The silent crisis and superpower of sandwich generation businesswomen

Here’s a look into a day in my life. I wake up and head to the gym while it’s still dark.  Then I come home and get my kids ready for school. In the process, I field a call from an employee in crisis.

Next, I go to the office at my PR agency Agent99, and work through a slew of emails and back-to-back meetings, where each requires laser focus as we shift from client to client.

Around 3pm, I answer a call from one of my kids who needs me to pick them up early from school because they’re not feeling well. So, then I leave the office to pick up them up. I’m stopped midway by a call from my mum who needs me to run a time-bound errand for her. And when I have worked through my family emergencies, I am back online to respond to urgent team and client needs.

I’m nurturing my family at home. I’m nurturing my team and clients at the office. I’m assuming the role of emergency contact for my widowed mother. It’s a lot.  And whilst it sounds challenging, it’s made me a more compassionate woman and leader, but it’s also made me a strong candidate for complete and utter burnout.   

This is just one day in the life of a woman juggling a business, kids, and an aging parent – and in a tough economy to boot. And I’m very far from alone. Welcome to the silent epidemic impacting the ‘Sandwich Generation’.

What is the Sandwich Generation? We’re a group of individuals – largely Gen Xers and elder millennials – who were told we could have it all. And guess what? Many of us do. We have families, fulfilling careers, and leadership roles. The only catch is that when we started off on these paths decades ago, we did not consider that there would be a time when we’d be doing “it all” at once, in a system that hasn’t really adapted to modern times and needs.

The Sandwich Generation isn’t a new concept. For decades, people in their 40’s and 50’s have been feeling the crushing effects of juggling kids and parents. The only difference now is we’re living longer, having kids later, extending our careers and delaying retirement. I’m now in my 50s, with two sons who are 13 and 9 and don’t see the signs of things slowing down – nor do I necessarily want them to. I love my life. But at the same time, something’s got to give.

A recent report from Australian Seniors on the Sandwich Generation reveals that 64% of women in the Sandwich Generation feel they bear the brunt of caregiving responsibilities. That doesn’t surprise me.

We’re leading businesses through economic uncertainty, high inflation, the advent of AI, and shifting consumer demands, all while also managing school pickups, medical emergencies, and heart-wrenching decisions about aging parents.

We’re not just balancing. We’re constantly adjusting. And in doing so, we’ve developed a superpower.

We are deeply capable and resilient, but that very resilience is often weaponised against us. The more we handle, the more we’re expected to handle. We’re exhausted. And yet, this invisible load is part of what makes us exceptional and gritty business leaders.

So, what does all this pressure create? In my opinion, it creates the qualities of an incredible trailblazer.

1. Our resilience and crisis management are unmatched. Balancing caregiving and business help us navigate high-stress, high-stakes situations. I’ve found this particularly useful when navigating a PR agency through a pandemic and now a downturn. Being nimble and thick-skinned is crucial.
2. We lead with empathy. Having now run Agent99 for nearly two decades, whilst also raising two boys with my husband, and taking on more responsibility with my parents, I’ve become so much more compassionate and clearer on what matters. My team knows they can come to me with both personal and professional issues. To me, that’s a stamp of a great leader.
3. We have next-level resourcefulness and strategic thinking skills. Whether we’re stretching our time, budgets or energy, we know how to do more with less and aren’t afraid to pivot on a dime.

So, where do we go from here? We don’t want to stop doing what we love, nor do we want to stop taking care of the people we love. We just want more support and recognition for being the powerhouses that we are.  Here’s what can be done to lift this generation of wrecked yet passionate women up.

1. Policies that reflect dual-caregiving realities and more support infrastructure. We have parental leave, but we need the government to extend this to also support elder care and emergency caregiving. Additionally, making a serious investment in affordable childcare, elder care and mental health services is critical.
2. Shifting away from a “work-life” balance mentality. Let’s face it: it doesn’t always hold up and then we’re left feeling bad for the part of our life that gets ignored. Sometimes we’ll need to prioritise home more; sometimes we’ll need to prioritise work more. It’s way more integrated, than balanced, and the sooner we can accept this and build this into our team’s fabric, the better we will be.
3. Stronger peer networks. We need to lean on each other and create a community of likeminded women going through the same experiences to access emotional and practical support.

In the end, we need to redefine what leadership looks like as a society. It’s not about pushing through silently without asking for more support. It’s about helping ourselves, while also helping others. If society wants us to be superheros, it’s time to support our superpowers.

Feature image: Sharon Zeev Poole.

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