The reality is this. The infamous glass ceiling is still firmly in place, and unless we all collectively collaborate and work together, unless we break down the current barriers to diversity, nothing is going to change.
In fact, we are never going to develop more than a few cracks in that ever-present ceiling.
Yes, there are incredible forward thinking organisations and individuals driving the equality message home. Forums are held, targets are set and programs are implemented. Yet there continues to be a disconnect between what leaders are saying and doing and the reality of corporate life and culture; the glass ceiling is there, unconscious bias creates ongoing challenges to diversity and of course the cultural conundrums of the pay gap, child care opportunities and flexible working conditions don’t help to solve the problem.
So what else is going on? Are we, as women, part of the problem? Are we sometimes holding ourselves– or others – back, sitting in the sidelines waiting?
I believe there are three types of behaviours that are sabotaging change:
Saboteur 1: The Doubter
The biggest killer of all is lack of confidence. Now I’m not saying our gorgeous men don’t suffer from the same anxieties, but it seems to me that, as women, we have a greater tendency to channel Bridget Jones donning our over-sized undies and worrying about EVERYTHING – am I not good enough, not smart enough, not clever enough, not pretty enough? And if that’s not enough we obsess about love life, sex life, wrinkles, weight and our over indulgences. Chuck in a large serving of GUILT and a self-hatred of putting ourselves forward and out there and the ability to remove said undies to step with confidence and oodles of self belief in to our individual spotlights and shine knowing that we are good enough is a rather tricky thing to do.
Saboteur 2: The Judger
Unconscious bias exists in ALL of us. We choose to see what we want to see and with that we judge. We judge the working mums, the non-working mums, the women with one child vs. multiples, those that choose not to have children, the single parent, divorced parent, the straight couple, the gay couple, the school you went to, the car you drive, the house you live in, your drink of choice.
We judge those gracing the front covers of our magazines whilst standing in line to pay for groceries. We read trash and watch reality TV because we want to know the ins and outs of other’s lives – so we can judge.
What chance have we honestly got if we are constantly judging each other’s life and career choices first rather than embracing what individuals are doing and standing for?
Saboteur 3: The Ladder Kicker
Think House of Cards’ Claire Underwood, even Miranda Priestley in the early scenes of The Devil Wears Prada, think every successful teen movie that exists – like in fiction, the Ladder Kickers are out there.
You know the ones – they have achieved success, they bask in all its glory and are ready, willing and able to push back down the ladder on any female co-worker that is wanting to progress – and god forbid if they want to do it with flexible working conditions.
Others tactically avoid helping other women; others resort to passive-aggressive behaviour to protect their own interests. Women can be nastier bullies than men, in the workplace, in the schoolyard, anywhere quite frankly. In 2010, the Workplace Bullying Institute, a national education and advocacy group, reported that female bullies directed their hostilities toward other women 80% of the time.
Those strong, empowered women in today’s workplace that are not standing up for younger women coming up through the ranks and are not providing enough active mentoring and sponsoring are committing sabotage. If a woman in a leadership role is not prepared to give encouragement, support, and provide a strong, positive role model for those down the line – even her peers – then she is guilty of preventing success.
This is the insidious and almost unseen side of bad female leadership, and it needs to stop. It is inexcusable and is the opposite of what they have purportedly fought for – workplace equality.
I have myself experienced that glass ceiling and the bullying (by a woman may I add) and yes it is there. Every day I face my fears, my own insecurities and push back the lack of confidence, which I know, will achieve one thing only – hold me back. What I do know is that being a woman of value and worth doesn’t mean being Wonder Woman. You don’t need to fly around in your Invisible Jet, saving the corporate planet on a regular schedule and then making it home in time to have dinner on the table. That’s not what life should be about.
The buck does stops with you. YOU are the one who decides whether you are good enough. Nobody else. You are an integral part of driving change so start believing that you can. Take ownership of your emotions, step up, step in, use your voice and dictate your own path. Become a Rapunzel – a woman who will let down their hair to help younger women and men move up the career ladder. A woman who is willing to show the way, mentor and coach, providing opportunities for others to shine, to grow and succeed.
Embrace the diversity of gender, age and colour of skin, of choice and difference of opinion. Virtually high five the successes and life choices of others; support dreams rather than destroying them. We all have to work collaboratively to smash that glass ceiling to pieces. We have to work together – because only then will effective change happen.