A main take-away from the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) new survey data was that husbands are apparently happiest when their wives stay home to do homely duties. This didn’t surprise me but it did leave me bloody irritated.
Why are we still seemingly stuck in the 1950s with a stronghold on the “traditional view” of gender roles and expectations?
Is it really because men have the power? Is it because, let’s be honest, why on earth would they want to let go of any social expectations that benefit them the most?
Whilst attempting to breath in a bid limit any permanent damage to my keyboard, I’d like to take a moment to bring to your attention to some of the questions the HILDA survey participants were asked.
Respondents were asked to rate, from 1 to 7, how much they agreed with the following statements:
- Many working mothers seem to care more about being successful at work than meeting the needs of their children
- Whatever career a woman may have, her most important role in life is still that of being a mother
- Mothers who don’t really need the money shouldn’t work
- It is better for everyone involved if the man earns the money and the woman takes care of the home and children
- A pre-school child is likely to suffer if his/her mother works full-time
Now these were questions designed to capture the extent to which each respondent held a “traditional view” on parenting and paid work. Unfortunately the published report doesn’t really expand on the results of these or the extent to which the husband’s ‘traditional view’ of parenting and paid work influenced the likelihood of relationship dissatisfaction or rate of divorce.
There were some questions that I guess were used to explore a more “contemporary view” of parenting and paid work:
- Children do just as well if the mother earns the money and the father cares for the home and children
- As long as the care is good, it is fine for children under 3 years of age to be placed in child care all day for 5 days a week
- A working mother can establish just as good a relationship with her children as a mother who does not work for pay
Is anyone else thinking a “traditional” man might have penned these questions?
To be honest this is the one that sent me right over the edge. I’m not sure how it relates to views on parenting and paid work but respondents were asked to rate how much they agreed with this statement.
- On the whole, men make better political leaders than women do.
Err, did our Minister for Women write this?
Before you make the quick assessment that this is merely a typical lefty feminist rant to fly the flag for the sisters, let me be clear. I’m just as irritated on behalf of my brothers as I am my sisters.
It’s not a “women should be able to have it all” cry. What I really want is an assimilation of “traditional” gender roles.
I’m seeking a cultural shift in our community’s values and expectations that would see more women being able to unashamedly pursue work and their careers even when they become mothers and more men being able to unashamedly pursue domestic life, especially when they become fathers.
What I want is a shift in the social norm where parents are expected by our community to share the roles and responsibilities of home and work life.
Where households don’t have to depend on dad for the bacon and mum to cook the bacon, but rather both mum and dad have shared and equal responsibilities to make their family life work.
Or rather where we get to decide, freely and without judgment from family, friends, society and parents, how our family can best function.
Perhaps its Dads living without judgment from his mates and fellow work colleagues staying home to be the primary caregiver for a newborn baby while mum becomes the primary provider.
Perhaps mum and dad continue to pursue their respective careers safe in the knowledge their children are getting a great start in life thanks to their child’s early years educator.
Perhaps husband does all the cooking because let’s face it he can actually cook and wife organises a cleaner to come once a fortnight because let’s face it what an incredible must luxury that would be!
I thought we might be getting close to the end of the “traditional view” of the roles of husband and wife, mum and dad, but the HILDA report clearly shows we’re a while off yet.
It’s just another reason why I am and have been so passionate in The Parenthood‘s campaign for more affordable high quality early learning and care.
A key focus of our campaign has been about raising the awareness across our community of the global evidence that clearly demonstrates high quality early learning and care delivers real long-term benefits for children and the economy by supporting children’s learning and development.
The Parenthood isn’t just doing this for the kids, we’re also doing this for the mums – to help break down the ‘guilt’ of going back to work if and when you want to.
With the recognised benefit of early learning for our kids we can start to remove some of the ugly stigmas attached to the working mum – you know that one where “working mothers seem to care more about being successful at work than meeting the needs of their children.”
Right now more mums than dads take carriage of organising the care of the children and engage in a range of alternative work arrangements to make this happen.
I’m simply asking why can’t that be a burden and an opportunity for both mum and dad? WHY???
End rant.