Becoming a mother is often described as a time of overwhelming joy and love but for many women, it’s also a life stage that’s filled with uncertainty, self-doubt and shifts in self-identity. It’s not something we talk about often, but motherhood can be socially isolating and for some, even lonely.
When you have a baby, life suddenly shrinks to long days at home, feeding schedules and sleepless nights, while the things that once filled your cup, like friendships and a career, seem out of reach. Your social calendar empties and casual catch-ups require an incredible amount of planning.
CEO and Scientific Chair of Ending Loneliness Together, Associate Professor Michelle Lim, says social isolation and loneliness among new parents is a concerning issue in Australia. Indeed, Medibank’s 2024 Loneliness Index research shows that major life transitions, like becoming a parent, are one of the biggest triggers for loneliness.
“When you have a newborn or kids under five – which I do – your schedule is very dependent on the child’s routine,” Lim tells Women’s Agenda.
“It’s not always compatible with your friends’ routine. So you may be connected to some degree, but there’s the physical, social isolation that comes along as well.
“Your social identity changes, your capacity changes, because you are now having to care for a vulnerable young person.”
Some of the changes Dr Lim mentions can be thought of as a small part of matrescence, a word that describes the profound physical, psychological and emotional transition of becoming a mother. It encompasses pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period and is characterised by hormonal and identify changes.
Dr Lim explains that loneliness for new mothers is a very personal feeling, it can surface when the connections you have aren’t quite meeting the support or closeness you need at that moment.
Social isolation, on the other hand, is more about what’s happening around you, it’s about the number of people you’re in contact with, or how often you’re seeing others.
“And when you think about early motherhood or parenthood in general, it’s common to see an increase in both,” Dr Lim says. “It’s a tough combination, and something many new parents experience.”
In 2026, Women’s Agenda is partnering with Medibank to open up an honest conversation around how motherhood has shifted in the years since the pandemic, from mums’ mental and social wellbeing to the changing ways mums find (or are struggling to find) support and connection in their communities.
We are running a national survey and developing a report to help shape a more accurate picture of what mums are navigating right now. If you’ve welcomed a child into the world within the past six years, we want to hear from you.
Loneliness among new mothers is an issue that also concerns Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia (PANDA), an organisation that supports the mental health of parents during early parenthood.
“Loneliness is common in early parenthood and can fuel perinatal anxiety and depression, especially when support networks shrink and day‑to‑day realities don’t match expectations,” says PANDA spokesperson, Bec Schafer.
“Difficulty accessing the right support – from playgroups to mental health care can have an impact. We hear from new parents who feel cut off by sleep deprivation, changing routines and distance from family or friends. That isolation can quickly erode wellbeing.”
Schafer says parents often feel like a “burden” on those around them when asking for help – but this is not the case.
“For many parents, this feeling results in further isolating themselves from their social networks, at a time when connection is most important,” she says.
What connection can look like for new mums
Social connection at this stage of life looks different for everybody. At first, it may be a five-minute chat with another parent at the park, or simply sending a voice note to an old friend, rather than replying by text.
Community‑based supports including mothers’ groups, local playgroups, parent‑and‑baby activities can be lifelines. These options are worth exploring, even if it takes a while to find the right group for you.
For mums in regional and rural areas, online events and groups may be an option if in-person activities are limited.
PANDA suggests new mothers and parents can aim to take small steps towards building their social connections.
“Start small: pair a pram walk with a regular catch‑up, swap voice notes with a friend, and say yes to one local baby activity each week,” Schafer says.
“Consider online and in-person activities that are related to activities you enjoyed before you had a baby.”
Dr Michelle Lim says while not every mother will connect closely with their allocated mother’s group, and connections “don’t happen overnight”, there is value in connecting with people who are in the same stage.
“It’s likely that when you do connect with these parents [and] you’re lucky enough to have that connection and you don’t move out of your neighborhood, you’re very likely to create friends for your children that are very long term,” she says.
Whether you’re in a city, the suburbs, or a regional or rural area, Mum Walk, Motherland Australia and Surfing Mums Australia are supporting mums to find and maintain social connections in a way that works for them.
If you’ve welcomed a child into the world within the past six years, we want to hear from you. Take the survey here.
What can we do?
Dr Lim advises mums looking to increase their social connections to be flexible where they can.
“We need to be nimble, we need to be resourceful and find other sources of support, if necessary, if the ones that we have access to aren’t really right,” she says.
“Social relationships take time, and often it’s not the big things that we do that make a difference, but the little things.”
For the family and friends of a new mum, showing up in practical ways can be a great way to maintain social connection. Open conversations, checking in more than once and turning up even when it’s inconvenient, are all great places to start.
Take the survey here.
If you need to speak to someone now, you can reach Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. New parents can contact the PANDA support helpline on 1300 726 306.
Medibank has made a 10-year commitment to address loneliness in Australia and has partnered with Women’s Agenda to build The Connections Hub, a dedicated space exploring women’s experiences of loneliness and connection.