'We all know someone struggling': Samantha Payne's call to end the silence around pregnancy loss

‘We all know someone who is struggling’: Samantha Payne’s call to end the silence around pregnancy loss

Samantha Payne

It is estimated that up to 110,000 Australian women will experience a miscarriage each year. With one in four pregnancies ending in loss before 20 weeks, it’s an issue that permeates through society.

For a long time, women who experience a miscarriage have reported a lack of understanding of their needs in the medical system and not enough support in workplaces. Women and their partners are often left to deal with their loss in silence.

Samantha Payne has been leading change in this space as the Founder and CEO of the Pink Elephants Support Network, an organisation providing a circle of support for those impacted by pregnancy loss, termination for medical reasons and/or miscarriage. The organisation was instrumental in lobbying the federal government to introduce an amendment to the Fair Work Act to entitle parents to paid bereavement leave after losing a baby to miscarriage.

The Pink Elephants Support Network is also just about to launch a new report on workplace support for fertility and pregnancy loss, which Payne says will help to challenge the false narratives that exist around these issues and break the silence.

 Samantha Pane will be speaking at the 2024 Women’s Health and Wellbeing Summit hosted by Women’s Agenda on September 4 in Sydney. Ahead of the event, we asked her some questions about her work and what she’d like women to know about their health.

What’s one key thing you’re working on right now that you’re really excited about? 

I’m super excited about the upcoming launch of Pink Elephants Workplace Support for Fertility and Pregnancy Loss Report in Sydney and Melbourne the end of August.

We are proud advocates at Pink Elephants and we care deeply about the experiences our community face every day. We are loudly calling for change using our voice to ensure everyone has access to their circle of support after a pregnancy loss. We know that the juggle of working life and facing fertility treatments or bereavement after the loss of a much wanted baby isn’t common conversation in the workplace.

We’re leading the way to change this, because if one in four pregnancies end in loss and one in six couples are struggling to conceive, the chances are we all know someone who is deeply affected and struggling right now. Without support, women are more likely to suffer poor mental health outcomes such as anxiety, depression, PTSD and suicidal thoughts.

We can change this with empathy and understanding and I can not wait to launch this report to challenge the false narratives that exist and break the silence!! 

Can you share a key thing you regularly do (or aspire to do more) that really supports your personal wellbeing? 

Eat more cake, dance more, laugh with friends more, curl up in a corner with a great book. Wellbeing is personal to you and it can change each day. One thing I’m learning with age is to drop the rules and expectations: eat the cake, enjoy the cake, do yoga, don’t do yoga, do what you feel like when you get the chance to not be doing something for others.

What do you want more women to know about their health? 

 That it is your health, unique to you, trust your instincts, listen to your inner voice, learn what works for you, advocate for what you believe you need, don’t settle for dismissal, you deserve better. Empower yourself with knowledge from trusted sources.

How do you wish the medical system better catered for women and families who have experienced miscarriage and early pregnancy loss?

Sadly there are still so many improvements needed, miscarriage and early pregnancy loss experiences have been disenfranchised for so long the whole system needs a rethink but here’s some key areas we want to see quick change 

Language – Use of more sensitive and empathetic language to bereaved parents we have lost a baby and language such as evacuation of retained products of conception is NOT what we want to hear

Setting – We really need separate waiting areas when the news isn’t good and we have just lost our baby. We do not need to be seated in a waiting room full of heavily pregnant women, its torture. 

Referral for Support – When a medical professional says here’s where you go for support they validate the experience as worthy of needing support and that’s crucial if we are to remove the disenfranchised grief experience that is leaving many women isolated and traumatised, a dangerous combination for women’s mental health. 

Overall, we want to see more validation, empathy and connection for women and their partners who lose a baby during pregnancy from their health care teams. It can take less than a couple of minutes to be the health professional that offers ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ with a look of genuine compassion that can make the difference in how a woman and her partner grieves. 

What is one key policy that you think could majorly improve the experience of women after experiencing miscarriage? 

I still think the ‘Leave for Loss’ policy change where Pink Elephants lobbied for an amendment to the FairWork Act of Australia was monumental in that forever more bereaved parents who lose a baby to miscarriage are now entitled to paid bereavement/compassionate leave just like any other loss. This policy firmly validates the loss of a baby during pregnancy as bereavement and heartwarmingly we are working with numerous organisations that now offer above the standard 2 days for their people.

For me now I’d like to see EVERY workplace have support options for their people who are going through pregnancy loss. Pink Elephants Workplace Support  Program can support this, we have a whole program dedicated to providing education, support materials & programs and policy advice to workplaces.

And for the cynics out there that are lucky enough not to be personally impacted by the death of their baby during pregnancy, it makes good business sense. Supporting your people through life’s challenges increases employee engagement, reduces presenteeism, reduces the need for mental health leave later down the track and increases women’s workforce participation. 

I’ll say it again: one in four pregnancies end in loss. There are a lot of women suffering right now that need their workplace to step up and support them, we can do better and Pink Elephants will continue to advocate for their needs.

Samantha Pane will be speaking at the 2024 Women’s Health and Wellbeing Summit hosted by Women’s Agenda on September 4 in Sydney.

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