Yesterday, sitting in a physiotherapist’s waiting room, I had a small ‘aha’ moment. I was quite enthralled in a Marie Claire article on the “busy” phenomena that afflicts modern women. Like me, you have probably read at least dozen things on the topic, but I found it thought-provoking and one passage in particular jumped out at me.
The article quoted Brigid Schulte the author of Overwhelmed: Work Love And Play When No One Has The Time.
“We’ve been conditioned to think that a woman’s work is never done, which makes us believe we have to do everything, before we can earn leisure time. We feel if we get to the end of our list, we can relax, but the list never ends. So do it now – you deserve it now,” Shulte said.
Just recently I wrote about the immense satisfaction I felt on completing 17 of the 18 work-related tasks I had set myself. Aside from the fact it made me feel productive, the bigger novelty was that I very nearly completed my to-do list. It’s something that rarely happens and it’s rarely for lack of trying. It’s because more often than not, no matter how much I have done in a day or a week, there is always something I haven’t done. Whether it’s at work or at home, the jobs quite literally never end.
There’s always another load of washing to put on or a basket of clothes to put away or sheets to changes, floors to vacuum, doctor appointments to book, a friend to call, birthday presents to buy, cars to register, super details to change, health insurance to update. At work there are always more emails to reply to, LinkedIn requests to follow up, projects to lavish with attention, events to plan, conversations to have. It doesn’t matter what you do, you can probably relate to the feeling that the jobs never end.
It’s an exercise in prioritising and multi-tasking on a daily basis and occasionally that patterns becomes overwhelming. That is where, in my head at least, the busyness trap comes into play. When will these jobs ever end?, I have asked myself more than once. The answer is, they won’t.
Waiting for the jobs to be done before you take a moment to relax or unwind, or to feel “done”, is fruitless. Because the jobs themselves will never end. As sure as the sun will rise with each new day, each new day will present an array of new jobs to do. Expecting otherwise is madness.
Before arriving at the physio yesterday my mind had been on its usual loop mentally calculating everything that had to be done and how those tasks could be prioritised and finished. I felt “busy” because my mind was switched on but, in that moment, I wasn’t actually busy. I was sitting down reading a magazine. And I’m glad I did because the article I chose to read reminded me to enjoy that quiet moment for what it was. A moment of peace. And when I stop and think about it my weeks actually are dotted with them.
It’s true that in any given week I have lots of jobs to do but it’s also true that my life is more than those tasks on a to-do list. Obviously there’s a balance; being productive and efficient with the tasks at hand will open up more time to relax but at the same time focusing on being productive and efficient all the time, doesn’t lend itself to much relaxation. It’s a perspective change I am going to take on board.
Are you too busy? Are you good at switching off?