My colleagues are rude: How can I change the culture? - Women's Agenda

My colleagues are rude: How can I change the culture?

I work in a public sector office about 40-50 people that work in smaller teams of 10-15. Among some of the senior staff there is a strong drinking culture and they have a strong clique. What bothers me and other new senior staff is that we have never been invited to drinks, and on important business matters we are left out of the loop. At other times we have asked questions about how certain things work and been stonewalled. They give us begrudging greetings, communicate with us only by email when they sit two meters away, don’t invite us to meetings we should be invited to. Management isn’t particularly interested. What can we do to try and influence this culture/environment to change for the better?

I can empathise with your situation as I experienced this type of work environment early on in my career. It can be extremely disheartening and frustrating.

Through my experience in culture and change management, and my work in positive psychology and organisational behaviour, I have learned a few things about changing cultures. One thing I know is that it is much easier (and scientifically proven) to move toward something you do want, than moving away from something you don’t want. And it is easier to improve a strength than it is to fix a weakness.

The natural instinct would be to try and ‘fix’ these people and change their behaviour. But as you said in your email, they have been working together and in this particular way for a long time. And management is not interested in addressing them as their work output is good. So you have a choice to make. You can run up against them and the culture they have created in their workgroup, which will likely lead you to more frustration and disappointment. Or you can spend your energy creating a different environment with the colleagues who are also fed up with this behaviour.

I clearly recommend the later approach. If this team is out drinking after work most nights, then I would consider whether there are other activities you can instigate within your office that are the antithesis of this – inclusive, fun, social and welcoming to all. It could be a bowling night, monthly dinner, running club, or even trivia night. It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is the message that it sends.

You mention that they do not speak to people outside their group, but instead send emails when they sit two desks away. Take positive action yourself. Instead of seething each time they snub you in the morning, greet them with a cheery hello. When they send an email instead of speaking to you, walk over to their desk and respond in person, and have your colleagues do the same. I have seen situations in office environments or smaller teams, when one group’s energy changes, the entire office changes. Try it out and see for yourself.

Being excluded from actual work is a little more challenging. Look for influencers in the office who can help change this situation. What are the processes for these meetings that you are excluded from? Is there a PA who sets them up you can befriend to ensure you and your colleagues are included? Is there a management executive who may be sympathetic to this particular issue? Look for ways to cut through the stonewalling. This is unacceptable and unprofessional, no doubt. You need to try and find a way to navigate it with grace until you find a way to breakthrough it. There is a way. Keep trying until you find it.

Ghandi said we have to be the change. I know that may seem trite. But it’s not. Put your attention on what you want to have happen, and you will start creating ripples of change around you. Energy is contagious, and the science tells us it takes just seven minutes for your energy to infect others, positively or negatively. Focus on spreading positive energy, and see what happens.

You may change their behaviour, you may not. But you and your colleagues will feel a whole lot happier, more positive and more in control by putting your attention and energy where it matters most for you, and what you actually can influence.

×

Stay Smart! Get Savvy!

Get Women’s Agenda in your inbox