You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to. It’s the message writ large in a meme posted on the Women’s Agenda Facebook page that was most shared and Liked last week. It’s also the simple message that the CEO of a large and successful privately owned company shared with me recently.
It’s a rule he lives by and runs his business to. His philosophy: “what’s the point in winning a battle if it means you could risk losing the war?” Sage advice.
I have managed my career on this basis too. It’s the equivalent of departing nicely. I have always prided myself on an elegant exit. There isn’t any point slamming the door behind you as you leave. People come and go but reputations stick and then get played out into your future.
Years ago I worked with a woman who needed to get her feelings of hurt and anger off her chest as she departed an organisation, even if she had resigned to go elsewhere. She drafted personal emails to everyone in her team and on the evening of her departure she hit the send button. The next morning her staff arrived to find a vicious review of their personality and performance in their inbox. It wasn’t the first time she had yelled abuse on her way out. But increasingly there have been fewer opportunities for her to do so as her reputation now precedes her.
That doesn’t mean that it isn’t important to stand up for what you believe in. You absolutely should, both in business and career decisions. However on occasion there may be events when raising the white flag may be the better strategic option.
In the early stage of my management career I was one of two group publishers at a media company. Prior to my joining the company there was just one publisher. His role was split to make way for me and he wasn’t happy about it. I did battle with him on a daily basis over the details of the business: decisions that he was used to making but were now my responsibility. It distracted us from the big picture and almost sent me crazy. Just before the business was sold the structure changed and my internal foe was sent on his way. The board was aware of the management issues so even though it felt as though I was battling on alone, I clearly wasn’t. In hindsight if I had left him to it I may have been able to further progress my division in the timeframe.
Are you skilled at choosing your battles wisely?