You’re feminine and authentic: Here’s how to let everyone at work know it

I have been reading with interest the discussion about using feminine traits at work and how to show up authentically as a woman. Can you please shed some light on what I actually need to do to make the most of it all? And can what I do as an individual really make a difference for my career? Thanks.
Jeanene, Marketing Manager, Retail

Thanks for your question Jeanene, which is very timely. There is a lot you can do to make a difference for your career, and to help you show up authentically. Here are some strategies and tips for how you can start from wherever you are today.

1. Take control – whilst we can get caught up in all the reasons why women aren’t or can’t be successful at work, the fact is that it starts with us. Yes there are things that get in the way, I know this all too well after 20 years in the corporate world. But we have to decide what we want, how we want to show up and find an environment in which we can thrive. Start with what you really want, how you want to lead, what type of work you want to be doing and how you want to put your life together. This then helps you own where you are, where you are going, and what you will and won’t accept on the journey.
2. Show up authentically – When we talk about showing up, I mean showing up as the real you, not the person you think others expect to see. When we look around at the power structures we operate in, the leadership styles that exists, and the behaviour that is rewarded, it is tempting to mold ourselves toward that which we think success looks like. Resist. Define success on your own terms. Part of this is hopefully about bringing your whole self to work and being authentic in what you do and how you do it. It is the only way to sustainably thrive, and to feel like you have integrity as well.
3. Understand your strengths – We know that eight out of ten people don’t get to do what they do best each day at work. This leads to disengagement, unhappiness, a lack of wellbeing and being unproductive. And we know that the best leaders understand their own strengths as well as those of their team members. Work out what your strengths are. They are the things that are inherent to who you are, what energises you and what takes you into flow. You can take the free strengths survey at viame.org to see what your signature strengths are, and then find ways each to bring them to life in work and play. They will drive your engagement, your happiness and bring out your authentic self. You can also have your team do the survey and look at your team based strengths profile.
4. Embrace your feminine traits – This has become a hot topic in recent months. In order to show up authentically as a woman at work, you need to be able to demonstrate all of your traits. That includes traits that have largely been disregarded as not valuable in the workplace such as empathy, kindness, intuition and collaboration. But things are shifting, even if they are slow to be felt in our workplaces. Research from more than 60,000 people in 13 countries tells us that people actually want more feminine traits in their leaders, both male and female, and that they are key to fixing the economic, political and business issues we currently face around the world. They are also a critical part of women being able to lead in a sustainable way that is true to our nature. So start to embrace what comes most naturally to you instead of trying to shut down those traits that you feel are unacceptable. You may be surprised with the results.
5. Ignore the naysayers – There are always going to be people who will tell you that it’s too hard, the system won’t let you succeed, women aren’t valued in the workplace, and you certainly can’t lead like a woman and be successful. At some point, you have to tune them out and walk your own path. At the end of the day, work out what roles you want, what type of leader you want to be, and how you want to influence those around you. Then forge ahead. We see examples of women everywhere who have bucked the trend of taking on masculine leadership traits to succeed, even when that is the dominant model in the business world (and the world in general). Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security that that is the only model that will help you get where you want to go. Develop your own style, enhance the traits that are inherent to who you are, and follow your own path.
6. Get the support you need – We know from both research and personal experience that lack of support and the work life juggle is one of the most prevalent issues for women managing their careers – for parents and non parents alike. No one can do it all on their own. And I don’t say this lightly, having been a single parent for most of my son’s 13 years, whilst holding down a big corporate job and post grad study at the same time. Whatever your situation is, it is rarely easy. Working out what type of support you need, asking for it and actually taking it, can be fundamental keys to your ability to create the career and life you want, while showing up authentically in it. Really think about how you can get that support, and provide it to others as well where you have the chance.

I hope this is helpful. If you’d like more thoughts and strategies, you can download the free whitepaper Unleashing the butterfly effect for women, leadership and work.