Many women in their thirties are learning how to balance new priorities.
You take notice when somebody as experienced and accomplished as Wendy McCarthy acknowledges one of the most difficult periods of a woman’s life – her late twenties and thirties.
And when she adds that “before 55, I was only practising” it’s an added relief to those women who’re entrenched in that earlier life stage, and thinking they have to have everything figured out.
McCarthy, who has a wide portfolio of directorships and other leadership roles, made the point at the Women World Changers Summit last Wednesday, in an opening address in which she urged the audience to appreciate that workplace gender equality is a “marathon not a sprint”.
She said many women will spend the first 30 years of their lives sharing why they don’t associate with the word ‘feminism’ before suddenly realising their voice is not getting heard, that they’re being paid less, being overlooked for promotions and might be taking on new caring responsibilities.
“It’s a tough time,” she said. “They must make the decision of whether they want to be a parent and have all the pressures that comes with that … My experience is that ambition comes later in life.”
McCarthy said women who have children today are still figuring out how to make ambitious careers work, despite options for paid maternity leave and all the work her generation did previously. “They still see themselves as we did, in a documentary without a script,” she said.
It’s this lack of script that can be so difficult for women as they approach the question of having kids, especially in combination with a high-achieving career.
For some professionals, the first decade of a work post graduation is clearly mapped out – a linear path that sees you move from junior positions to management. Suddenly, the reality of taking time off the path hits, as does wondering how you’ll ever be able to apply as many hours a week to such a path in the future as you once did in the past. Employment options start narrowing. Salaries start decreasing. Childcare expenses start skyrocketing. Exhaustion kicks in. Social lives and friendships disappear.
Meanwhile – with or without children, we also know this is the point when many women come up against both conscious and unconscious bias in the workplace. It’s a time when many women realise workplace gender equality still has a long way to go.
Liz Broderick once described this as “late onset feminism”, something many women experience particularly after having babies, when they realise their careers and lives will take a very different track to men who have kids.
It’s a confusing, difficult time. But it’s also a period that sees new networks and connections blossom, when we experience the many benefits of forming support systems with others in similar situations. We seek more mentors and sponsors, share stories with colleagues, make time for events and seminars.
As McCarthy noted from her own experience, it’s also a time when you can continue “practicing” for the bigger and better career later on. While she expressed concern for those who close off their options to take on the “mummy track” or “fulltime wifedom” – especially when the odds for a successful marriage are now so low – her own experience proves there’s plenty of time for more success later on. Also that a shift in ambition is not permanent, and not everything has to be figured out or determined by a particular age.
