Children and adults have two very different perspectives on Christmas. For many children, Christmas is magical, exciting and fun. It is about presents, later bedtimes, spending time with cousins and other relatives, Christmas craft, eating candy canes, playing and holidays.
On the other hand, Christmas for adults involves being rushed, stressed, preoccupied with postage times, immersed in cookbooks, toy catalogues and online pressie sites, juggling big to-do lists and full calendars, and parents repeatedly saying, “Santa’s watching”! It can include depleting money supplies, planning multiple meals, organising travel, hanging lights, managing extended family dynamics, and trying to finish up work for the year.
While I feel rather negative saying that, the sad truth is there are some negative bits that can come with Christmas for adults. And those bits are easy to get caught up in. The result being thoughts like ‘Christmas is hard work’; ‘I’ve just got to get through it’; and ‘I’ll be glad when it’s over!’
So what can make Christmas the season to be jolly, despite still needing to do all that comes with it?
One of the simplest things to do is to tap into our kids’ joy and excitement. This requires us to choose to be ‘mindful’. That is, choose to be completely in the moment with them when they are ecstatically happy over something, or simply showing more relaxed behaviour due to being relieved from school ending for the year.
Doing this won’t take away all that we have to do, but particularly for parents it will help us to focus on one of the major reason for why we are bending over backwards, managing difficult feelings and juggling a thousand things: to give kids the wonderful, innocent, magical perspective that they have of Christmas. We will be reminded to see things from their viewpoint – a surprisingly contagious and very helpful strategy to keep ourselves, and all that we are doing, in check!
Another helpful thing to do is ask yourself: ‘Am I going too big? Or making it too complicated?’ Sometimes when we get caught up in the busyness, or the stress, or perhaps others’ expectations, we can put pressure on ourselves to do preparations or purchase presents to a certain standard.
In this case we need to get in touch with our values. That is, ‘how do I want to do Christmas? What result would show me that I did Christmas my way?’
Tapping into our values is good to do when dealing with tricky relatives, or when needing to answer less than appropriate questions too! Essentially, our values are like a compass. They give us a direction when we feel a bit lost as to what to do.
So with Aunty Shirley who always asks about your love life, for example, tap into the sort of person you’d like to be to Aunty Shirley. Perhaps polite but assertive, or perhaps a joker, where you could reply with, “I’ll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours!” Or perhaps you decide that you will indulge her a little because it might be her way of trying to connect with you.
We are happiest when we operate most closely to our values. So this is important. If it’s too late for this year, perhaps work towards it for coming years.
Another thing to do is ‘notice’ Christmas. It is an exceptionally pretty time. Look at the lights – really take notice. If you are truly noticing, then you will naturally slow down and this is good. Slowing down allows us the space to remember that Christmas is an opportunity to connect with the important people in our life.
And this is relevant whether we are single, in a relationship, have kids, or have family close-by or not. Plan to make it a priority to share a bevvy with your partner, best friend, colleague, or neighbour. Or even plan to wish your local barista ‘Merry Christmas’ or to sit down and play with your kids and their new goodies. Most importantly, take a moment to reflect on just how well you did to get the whole thing together in the first place.