Returning to work after maternity leave requires preparation, organisation and a whole lot of support from family and friends.
But juggling children with a career not only changes the day-to-day routines at work and at home, but also the dynamics with your partner.
“When people track back to when an issue has arisen in a marriage or relationship, it’s often during the time of the first child,” explains psychologist Sabina Read. “It’s understandable that this changes the dynamics of the relationship probably more dramatically than any other time in the life span of the marriage.”
Not discounting the single mothers who successfully manage a career and children on their own, if those in a relationship are not getting the support they need from their partner, their return to work and the ongoing family/work juggle will be that much harder.
To avoid feeling isolated and completely overwhelmed, you need to speak up if you’re not getting the support you need.
“It’s critical to keep the lines of communication open and talk to your partner about needing support,” says Read. “We all too often make assumptions that our partners can mind-read or understand what we’re thinking. Then we get cross or resentful when they don’t.”
During this conversation, psychologist and director of Suzie Plush Consulting, Suzie Plush, says it’s important to value your partner and to be honest.
“Talk about how their actions impact you and ask them what they can help you with,” she says. “Work with your partner. Often, as women, we struggle to ask for help so it’s about being authentic in your relationship and saying that you actually really need your partner.”
Read emphasises the importance of understanding the signs of post-natal depression – reminding us that both men and women can suffer from it – and also to be aware of the rebate offered by Medicare for sessions with a psychologist.
“It’s not really well publicised but what it says to me is how normal it is – that it’s not uncommon for someone to need to talk through some stuff,” says Read.