At 24, Kshama Bindu has done what no woman in India has done before. She’s married herself.
Reported to be the first example of “sologamy” in her home country, Bindu tied the knot to herself during a full Indian-style wedding ceremony.
The 40-minute “digistised” wedding has gone viral, and been shared widely across media. But as she’s just told Al Jazeera, “people look weirdly at me. Like I have committed a crime.”
Bindu, who is a blogger, says she was inspired by the series Anne With An E, and one line from the story of the young orphaned girl who suffered abuse as a child: “I want to be a bride but not a wife.”
She told Al Jazeera the day of the wedding was the best day of her life, and that “I don’t need anybody else’s validation.”
She added that she doesn’t have to think about moving to another city, because her partner wants to move, nor does she have to think about any of the commitments that come with being married to another person. “I can think just about myself.”
Bindu describes herself as someone who takes a stance on injustice, and who has experienced a difficult childhood. She has a tattoo reading “rest in Peace, patriarchy and gender rules. She has also revealed that she was sexually abused repeatedly at the age of eight, experiences which forced her to grow up fast.
So what is sologamy?
You may have heard about polygamy and monogamy, but sologamy is a new concept to most people.
It’s grown to some prominence through various pop references, including in television series like Doctor Who and Sex and the City. There are a number of organisations aiming to support the practice, including IMarriedMe.com in the United States.
In Australia, New Idea has published extensive research and information on sologamy, including how to organise the location and manage invitations for a ceremony. Life coach Linda Dokta created international headlines when she married herself on a beach ceremony on the Gold Coast, back in 2018.
There are reports that more women have been marrying themselves since the pandemic, including Nneka Carter, who posed wearing a stunning white wedding dress during her marriage ceremony, and Ena Jones, a 51-year old woman who said that after living through tough months during 2020, she committed to be truthful to herself, during her own ceremony.
Bindu says she hadn’t heard of the term sologamy until learning about it on TV. But on doing research became fascinated. She found that her friends and family quickly came on board when she made the engagement announcement. They held a bachelorette party for her, and can be seen participating and dancing during the ceremony.
However, strangers have been less kind. Bindu says she’s felt like she’s been under a form of house arrest, due to the media that have been waiting outside her home.