When Sheriden Hackney moved to Melbourne from her home in the Gold Coast, she was confident with her friend-making skills. She was well-travelled, had worked in hospitality most of her life, and thought she’d find her circle quickly enough once she moved.
It wasn’t as easy as Sherry thought, and at times, she felt quite lonely.
Sherry isn’t alone: according to the latest Medibank Loneliness Population Index, more than half of Australians (56 per cent) say they feel lonely at least once a week, a figure that’s remained high since the COVID-19 pandemic.
Loneliness can be triggered by moving to a new city – like Sherry did – or by close friends and family moving away from you, Medibank’s research found.
But it’s not just physical separation from loved ones that can trigger feelings of loneliness: in a digitised world, social media has a lot to do with disconnecting people from one another, despite existing as a way to connect.
Sherry’s experience of loneliness inspired her to start Conscious Connection, an organisation that aims to develop friendships with people looking for deeper and more meaningful connections with others.
“Loneliness can hit anyone, even when you do have friends,” Sherry told Women’s Agenda. “You can feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by people.
“The best thing you can do is just start adding more friends into your circle.”
Match-maker: Sherry’s story
After working in hospitality for a few years, Sherry was relocating to Melbourne to begin a corporate career.
“I didn’t know anyone when I first moved there,” Sherry said, “and I’ve always found it pretty easy to make friends. I’ve travelled a lot, and it’s always been fairly easy.
“But I think transitioning to a corporate role … combined with not knowing anyone, combined with COVID as well, it was a really, really tough time to make friends.”
Sherry tried everything – Bumble BFF, going to social meet-up groups in and around the city, even making friends in a regular setting. But with no luck, she took matters into her own hands.
Reaching out to connections she made via Bumble and other social meet-up groups, she invited some people over to her home to cook pasta.
“I was teaching people how to make pasta and gnocchi from scratch, and then we’d also sit down and have dinner together,” Sherry said.
“The whole purpose was to make friends and to have deeper, meaningful conversations.”
Sherry did this for about a year, and the more she posted online about the low-key events at her home, the more interest grew.
Suddenly, her casual cooking classes and dinners at her home were booked out – months in advance.
And this was just the beginning of her mission – what is now her organisation, Conscious Connection.
People who attend Conscious Connection events are as young as 20, and up to 50 years old, but tend to sit in the 25-25 age bracket. They come from all stages of life – single, in a relationship, new to the city, locals – but they all have one thing in common.
“The common denominator is people are looking for more aligned friendships,” Sherry said.
In the early stages of Conscious Connection, some events were a hit, and people who attended walked away making lifelong, best friends. Others didn’t have as much luck – it’s not always a great fit.
Sherry decided there must be a better, more efficient way to ensure like minded people get the chance to meet one another. She would deliberately put a group of people with similar interests on a table to give them the best chance possible.
This ultimately became the brand of Conscious Connection.
Loneliness
According to Medibank’s Loneliness Population Index, 53 per cent of people say loneliness is triggered by having few friends or growing apart from friends. Others say it is triggered by family or friends moving away (21 per cent), moving out of their childhood home (20 per cent), moving interstate to a city (15 per cent) or to a remote town (10 per cent), and moving overseas (9 per cent).
In fact, those considered to be in the “young and free” life stage are at the greatest risk of experiencing loneliness (42 per cent).
Another cause of loneliness, especially for young people, is social media – something Sherry herself has noticed.
“I think the way we’ve shifted to a more digitised version of connection, that’s really increased loneliness, because we have this sort of artificial sense of connection,” Sherry said.
“We feel like we’re connected to all of these different people, but we don’t have that quality connection in person, like we are designed as humans to have.
“A lot of people are feeling like they’re connected, but also very disconnected, and I think that’s leading to a lot of loneliness.”
In Sherry’s marketing of Conscious Connection, she stresses one thing the most: everyone is in the same boat.
“I try to make it really clear that everyone comes solo,” Sherry said.
“That’s the biggest hurdle – most people don’t want to come solo. And I completely understand that, but I like to make sure that everyone knows that it’s pretty normal – everyone comes solo. So you’re all in the same boat, and it actually makes it a lot easier to make friends that way.
“Everyone feels nervous – that’s a normal function of meeting new people. It just means that you care.”
As someone who has experienced loneliness herself and witnesses every day people coming out of their shells and making new friends, Sherry hopes to see more people coming to Conscious Connection events, which happen in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and the Gold Coast.
“Loneliness can hit anyone, even when you do have friends. You can feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by people,” Sherry said. “The best thing you can do is just start adding more friends into your circle.
“Nervousness and anxiety is a completely normal emotion. The difference between the people who are making friends and the people who are not are the ones who are pushing past and just doing it nervous, doing it scared.
“Put yourself out there, because there are so many people you haven’t met that will love you so much.”
To learn more about Medibank’s commitment to reducing loneliness head to We Are Lonely | Medibank.
About the research
Research commissioned by FiftyFive5 on behalf of Medibank. Research was conducted in July 2024, among a sample of (n=4,131) Australians.
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