Women spend a huge proportion of their lives managing their relationships, whether at work or at home. But many don’t realise the importance of one particular relationship – the one they have with money.
Melanie Schilling is a psychologist and the facilitator of Start Counting, a program run by NAB that helps women observe and change the way they relate to money. According to Schilling, most people aren’t conscious of how they perceive money.
“I find it generally operates at the unconscious level,” says Schilling, “our relationship with money is very emotional.”
Emotions like fear, anger and denial can all impact how people treat their money. Underlying beliefs about finances might have their origins in messages from family, school or the media.
Those beliefs, Schilling says, help create our deeply imprinted feelings around money and drive financial behaviours that can have positive or negative consequences. So instead of continuing along the same path, women should strive to lift their financial game by thinking about how best to manage their money.
“Let’s say someone grew up in a family where the value that someone placed on money was about security,” says Schilling, outlining a family that might have struggled, worked hard and had little disposable income.
“Whenever money came into the home, it was invested in a way that was secure.”
Someone growing up in that environment, she explains, might rebel against that attitude towards money, developing values that prioritise freedom, adventure and fun.
“Those things in and of themselves are not bad, but it can mean that person becomes careless and frivolous.”
Why thinking ahead matters
Schilling says responsible behaviour around money is especially important for women: “We know that women live longer than men, and we also know that a lot of women don’t have their super taken care of.”
She admits that while it’s tricky to generalise about financial problems common to women, many women struggle with their relationship with money in the context of their relationships with partners or family.
“The symptom is often a relationship problem. When we dig beneath the surface, what’s sometimes sitting there is a clash around money.”
The key to improving financial choices is to become aware of the underlying beliefs driving negative behaviour, says Schilling: “You can operate from an unhelpful belief, and change it.”
Thinking about their patterns of behaviour and money style, women might ask themselves questions like: ‘Am I looking for instant gratification, or something that will pay dividends when I’m older?’
Taking a reality check
Recognising one’s underlying attitudes toward money needn’t come with harsh judgement, Schilling says. Instead of beating yourself up, the process instead presents an opportunity to “step into your own power”.
For example, someone might realise they think of money as an immediate gateway to freedom, and so tend to spend it quickly. Recognising thoughts like ‘I just got a bonus, I’m going to go splurge it on a holiday’, Schilling says, gives the person the chance to slow down, consider alternatives and start thinking about the long term.
Once they have a better grip on their perception of money, women can begin to consider their priorities and vision of their future, and then think about how money can help facilitate those goals.
Armed with an understanding of how they relate to money, women can begin empowering themselves through positive financial choices.
For more information on NAB’s Start Counting program visit: www.startcounting.com.au.
Written by: Jessie Richardson