In what can only be described as the unholiest of alliances, Pauline Hanson and Neighbours has-been, Holly Valance have teamed up for a musical moment that’s as flagrantly stupid as it is offensive.
Their new political song and animated skit might be being pitched as satire, but scratch the surface and it could have just as easily been compiled by an attention-seeking, high school dropout. (And to be honest, that’s probably unfair to the majority of high school drop outs).
Ultimately, it’s the same boring culture-war playbook designed to denigrate trans people in the most basic way possible; sneer at pronouns and frame inclusion as some kind of existential threat to “real women”.
At one point, Valance jokes about people “switching genders like outfits”, while other lines caricature pronouns as something frivolous and absurd. Hanson leans into the archaic refrain about biology and common sense, implying that recognising trans people somehow erases women.
The accompanying video to the song depicts a blonde man in women’s underwear dancing around to the lyrics: “MWAH You will respect my pronouns / Not all ladies have ovaries, some have a penis / They say that I’m a he but I’m a she / Coz I gotta V and not a D.
“And I don’t care what people say / I’ll never be a him, a them or they / Cause I’m real biological woman / A real biological woman.
“Fave song – from the river to the sea / No job but I bleed LGBT … Q+, ya bigot / Cause I’m a real diabolic lefty.”
But while the cringe element comes thick and fast, it’s hard not to feel disturbed by the song’s cut-through. Within hours of its release yesterday, it had been purchased enough times to eclipse the two songs that topped the Triple J Hottest 100 – Olivia Dean’s Man I Need and Keli Holiday’s Dancing2.
Meanwhile, Hanson’s One Nation has soared in polls overtaking the Coalition with 22 per cent of the primary vote compared to 21 per cent, while Valance has swiftly become the poster child of the far right and maintains a vocal supporter of Donald Trump and Nigel Farage. Both women thrive on that attention economy.
On social media Hanson wrote: “When we phoned Holly Valance to write us a song for the movie, she instantly said yes”.
“A massive shout out to Holly who I know watched the film last night and spat water across the room during one particular scene. Tells me the jokes landed really well.”
Of course, for anyone with half a brain and a shred of humanity, the joke lands like a steaming pile of horse manure.
Trans people in Australia are already dealing with political hostility, misinformation about healthcare, and a constant media narrative that frames their existence as controversial.
The most frustrating part is the faux-feminist framing.
Hanson and Valance position themselves as defenders of women, but they conveniently forget that feminism has always been about expanding who gets to be safe, heard, and valued.
They don’t care about women. They care about clicks at the expense of real people– trans kids in particular, hearing this and wondering where they fit. Parents trying to navigate healthcare amid a storm of misinformation. Women being told that solidarity only applies to some of us.
It’s shameful in the extreme. But who’s surprised?