This is the stellar advice Aussie super model, business owner and now billionaire’s wife, Miranda Kerr dished up for us in an interview with Net-A-Porter’s The EDIT recently.
Kerr, who wed Snapchat founder and CEO Evan Spiegel in May, says she always draws on the advice her grandma gave her about the makings of a happy marriage.
And no, before you ask, this advice doesn’t emphasise the value of good conversation, trust, support, loyalty and affection– it merely requires us ladies to put on a frock, light some candles and roast a chicken before he gets home.
“My grandma taught me that men are visual and you need to make a little effort,” Kerr said.
“So when [Evan] comes home, I make sure to have a nice dress on and the candles lit. We make time to have a nice dinner together.”
But wait, there’s more.
Kerr is also careful not to appear too work-oriented when she returns home, lest she disrupt the delicate balance of binary gender norms their marriage depends on.
“At work, I’m like, ‘We need to do this!’ and, ‘This needs to happen!'” she explained. “But at home, I slip into my feminine and empower Evan to be in his masculine.
“Just be more in my feelings. More gentle, leaning back. It’s a nice balance.”
Nice balance? Sorry Miranda, I’m not buying it.
For me, the nice balance with my partner comes from working hard together. Caring about each other’s day, cooking dinner together, (or ordering take-away) tidying up together, and chatting together as equals.
More often than not I’m wearing something pretty sexy though. A trackies, Ugboot, musty jumper combo is in my regular Winter repertoire.
And look, he still hasn’t left me.
Because he’s not a superficial jerk. (In fact I think he secretly loves the Ugboots.) But also because we live in a different era to our grandmas.
One where men and women often both have tiring, ambitious careers, share household and caring responsibilities and support each other equally. It’s not the norm anymore for men to view their wives as chicken-roasting trophies. And thank God for that.
After all, the best marriages are not hinged upon superficial gestures of domesticity, they are ones that recognise and accept that we are all humans. Aspirational humans, imperfect humans, equal humans.
And, the love doesn’t shift because of it.