Sometimes, you just can’t help it. A boss goes one step too far, a colleague gets the better of you, that mistake you made feels as if you’ve destroyed your entire future.
And so you do what so many humans have done before you, you cry.
Crying at work is not ideal. It’s always best to try and take it outside, or at least get to the bathroom or a meeting room where you can have your moment in private and potentially call a friend of family member who might be able to offer some perspective.
But when the floodgates open and the tears come out there’s no turning back. You’ve officially cried at work. Below are a few tips on what to do next.
Take it outside. Although you’ve missed your opportunity to get outside before the tears started streaming, it’s not too late to leave the room and limit the damage. If somebody’s spotted you, he or she may come to your aid with a quiet word, or potentially call on someone they know is a trusted ally to help you. If no one comes after you then your tears may or may not have escaped the attention of others — you may never know. Just take the breather and call a friend.
Clear the air. If the tears are the result of somebody’s behaviour, then it may help you and the offending party to clear the air. Once you’ve recovered and feel ready, approach this person and discuss what happened. You don’t have to apologise for the fact you were upset but you can explain why you were upset. Take the personal out of the situation and outline some future steps to ensure it doesn’t get to breaking point again. Unexplained crying allows workplace problems to go unchecked and bad emotions to continually fester below the surface of everyday activities. Get in quickly with the explanation and you may find things return to normal before you’ve clocked off for the day. Be upfront, to the point and as rational as possible and you’ll regain some of the respect you may feel the tissue box cost you.
Ask, why are you really upset? Take some responsibility for the tears by considering what really set you off. Sure, it may have been an action from somebody else that you couldn’t have prevented, but you can always have some control over the way you react. Think: why does he/she upset me so much? And if it’s a personal failure or mistake that set you off then ask yourself what you can learn from the error. Let the tears empower you by teaching you something.
Explain the problem. Often an incident of workplace crying has nothing to do with work and everything to do with something occurring at home. While you don’t have to outline to colleagues just what the problem is, it can help to approach a manager with a brief explanation regarding why you’re upset. If tears are becoming a regular habit or you’re starting to show a little too much emotion at work it might be a sign that you need some help. Make use of your workplace counselling service, pull in a friend or speak anonymously to an organisation like Lifeline or Beyondblue. It might help to inform your manager that you’re going through a difficult patch but are working with a number of potential solutions for getting through it. You never have to be specific, but a loose, general explanation will help your credibility and may even see some well-meaning colleagues assist you during this period.
Avoid the melodrama. Crying at work can happen, once. But don’t make it a regular habit. Seek help if necessary, or make a conscious effort to arrive optimistic every day. Don’t become the person who people tiptoe around to avoid upsetting or you’ll be cast aside as ‘too difficult to deal with’ and never offered any new projects or opportunities. And never use tears to manipulate a situation or get your own way. It may work in the short-term but will be remembered.
For help with depression, anxiety or any of the issues discussed in this article contact ww.beyondblue.com.au or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Have you cried at work? What did you do?