I never went to my high school reunion but if I did I think that one of my most widely regarded accomplishments, according to former classmates, would have been the three page note my mother wrote for me to make sure I was exempt from the weekly sports class.
A hearing impairment that renders my balance obsolete and a laundry list of reasons why I just don’t enjoy exercising has meant a life long avoidance of the gym and a number of ways that I’ve managed to do exactly that.
When my grade six sports teacher called on the most unfit student to race against the fittest kid in the class to prove a point, he called on me. In grade three at the swim meet, after finishing off the race (last) in the slow lane, a feat I considered medal worthy, another student’s mother informed me it might be a good idea if I signed up for some extra swimming classes.
I was never the team sport kind of kid either — a permanent fixture of the ‘recreation group’ in high school, a group of kids who didn’t ever make the team and were shipped off the school premises every Thursday afternoon, hidden away in an indoor bowling alley in fear that we might tarnish the schools flawless sporting reputation. These are habits that I have since carried through to adulthood. When I moved cities several years ago, every article I read about how to make friends in new places referenced team sports as a great way to meet people. It very well could be but I’ll never know because I was too busy thinking up excuses as to why I wouldn’t join my colleagues’ basketball team to find out. Aside from brief dalliances with personal trainers born out of both my immense love of cheese and a desire to fit into my jeans, I’ve managed to avoid making exercise an enduring event in my life.
But lately, as we start focusing more on health and wellbeing here at Women’s Agenda, and the benefits of mindfulness and health in daily life (like managing stress for a start), I’ve started to think about the ways in which I approach these areas in my life.
Stressful day at work? Have a glass of wine. Need to unwind when I can’t sleep? Have a glass of wine. Anxious? Have a glass of wine. Low on energy? Double up the caffeine.
In other areas I’ve thought that I approach my health with pragmatism — balance, moderation and all that. But somewhere along the way I wonder if my inability to find a good night’s sleep, anxiety and the overall motivation that has come and gone from my life with varying intervals has something to do with my physical output — and give me cause to question whether my own remedies (red wine) have really been all that successful in managing the mental side of things. Sitting at a desk for nine hours a day hasn’t been doing my physical health any favours either.
By some merciful act of karma, along with my dislike for exercise, I’ve also found myself surrounded by health nuts. A former co-worker who escaped a stressful job by taking up yoga and found she loved it so much she took it up as career. The friend who found her calmer side through interpretive dance. The rock-climbing, ultra-marathon running junkie housemate who never seemed to ever encounter the word ‘stress’ (and who apparently never encountered the dishwasher either, but we’ll get to that another time).
And you know what these people had in common? Not only have they been approaching exercise for its mental benefits, rather than just focusing on the physical aspects, they found a way to incorporate it into their lives without setting foot into the gym, and they were actually having fun in the process.
Part of the reason why they enjoyed it so much — and why I dislike it so much — was that they were looking at exercise outside of those other reasons we tend to frame it — those negative ones we use when we feel like we need to shed a few kilos, a punishment for being too indulgent. Instead they enjoyed it because it made them feel good.
Every time I’ve approached exercise it’s been for negative reasons — as the chubby kid in primary school carrying the title of “most unfit’ which thus equated (in my mind) to being extremely overweight. As the high school student eating her way through VCE stress and turning to extreme dieting and exercise to look good for the year 12 formal. As the twenty something who went a little too hard with the drinking and tried to counteract the bad behaviour by subsisting on a wholly unbalanced diet of green juice, kale and a personal trainer who wanted to focus on skinny, rather than healthy.
Whenever I’ve attempted to incorporate exercise into my life it’s quickly became a matter of fixation, an obsession of my body and the physical output, rather than a thing that just makes me feel good on the inside. It’s time to reframe this.
So here is where I start on my new found mission to find a way to incorporate exercise in my life and actually not hate every second of it while I’m doing it.
Given I’m at the point where I’m lucky to still have time for elusive things like free time in the evening after work, I figure there’s no better time than now to start. If I have time to meet a friend for a drink after work I have time to fit in some sort of exercise. Somehow I have run out of any other excuses (except the no balance thing but we’ll work on that too.)
First up. Xtend Barre. A workout that combines yoga and pilates moves with ballet conditioning for a full body workout. Keep in mind that I’ve never been able to touch my toes. And that balance thing again. Check back with Women’s Agenda later this week to see how it goes.
Love exercise? Hate it? Found a way to incorporate it into your life without setting foot into the gym? Let me know how you did it and what you’re doing.