This week yet another example of the disrespectful treatment of women and girls in online spaces came to the fore, with the exposure of a ratings list, compiled by several male secondary school students, determined to reduce the human value of their female classmates to “wifeys,’ ‘cuties,’ ‘mid,’ ‘object, ’get out’ and … wait for it, ‘unrapable.’
The boys had taken the time to categorise and even import the images of the girls to match the profiles they had included, all the way down to colour coding them in a specific order. Welcome to the digital world for women and girls in 2024.
While this situation might have shocked many in the general public when it first appeared, this situation is far from unique and has been occurring in various forms for years.
In 2022 a similar situation occurred where a list of tasks by a group of school boys on their way to schoolies week surfaced, outlining a range of tasks they had to complete for fun before the week was out. While these were written on a note app on a mobile device, the offline impacts of these individuals successfully completing these tasks would have been significant, and in many cases, illegal. WTF, I hear you say. Me too. Or should I say #metoo? There are a few too many to count nowadays.
Why do people behave so savagely online?
The Online Disinhibition Effect is something that many of us experience from time to time. It is, in the simplest terms, our willingness to behave in ways online that we never would in an in person interaction. The Online Disinhibition Effect is underpinned by the perception of anonymity, deindividuation, a lack of physical and verbal cues that would ordinarily make us think twice about what we are saying or doing, and the normalisation and acceptance of certain cultural norms like the perpetuation of misogyny for example, amongst particular sets of people. However, the consequences can be severe, especially for women and girls.
The Office of the eSafety Commissioner stated in 2022 that 75 per cent of the reports they receive detailing online harms come from women and girls. Those rates are higher when we look at the intersectionality of those victims as well, and while the research may not have been directly reviewed in the past 12 months, my guess (and anecdotal experience) is that those rates have escalated. Dramatically.
Signficantly, 99 per cent of deep fakes on the internet are of women, 96 per cent are estimated to be non-consensual.
Women and girls are now experiencing higher rates of sexism, body shaming, sexualisation, derogatory comments, defamation, doxxing and misinformation in online environments. And, much of it is dealt with privately, making it an invisible issue many suffer in silence without guidance or support… until it’s not.
The recent deep fake incident involving Taylor Swift sent shockwaves around the world about the potential of AI technology and the long term reputational, emotional and mental impacts its misuse can have on victims. Tay Tay should never have had to endure that experience, but my first thought was honestly about the hundreds if not thousands, of female victims who have also suffered the same fate over several years and didn’t have millions of swifties come to save the day.
We need action over good intention
The days of thinking about the online world and physical worlds as separate spaces are done. Really. There is no delineation any more.
In fact, if we continue to think about them separately, we are entirely missing the point. As of today’s date, we are currently sitting at 33 women (we know about) who have died at the hands of male violence this year alone.
It is no secret that there is an epidemic happening in this country, and indeed around the world. Most of the conversations I’ve been privy to, especially in relation to the Bondi Junction attacks for instance (a command that I worked at as a police officer for 8 years), were “at least he didn’t have a gun.” Damn right. The attitudinal contributors to attacks like that don’t happen overnight. They are built over time, and we must find ways to intercept this influence when things are going south for our kids.
Looking beyond the surface of these issues allows us to get to the root of the problem, and solve them fast. When we have young people developing attitudes and behaviours in a largely invisible world to their parents and caregivers, unsupported and unmonitored, how can we possibly expect to stop it?
The consideration of government and regulation in addressing these issues needs to be front and centre, but to be frank, waiting for legislation to catch up with technology is like trying to jump on a runaway train in full flight.
It’s a luxury we simply can’t afford anymore, and sure, some want to give them tips for trying, but the rest of us are left to figure out ways that don’t rely solely on people who want to continually discuss policy.
Instead, we need to look at what we as individuals can control, and act on whatever influence we have to create a positive impact on an individual and personal level. Because if there is one thing I know for sure, life rewards action.
Using technology as an enabler
Back to Yarra Valley…One of the first thoughts that struck me about this situation was: “How long has this disgraceful list been up for, and why wasn’t it found earlier?”
You see, there is technology available now for schools that can detect and intervene in situations like this before things go too far.
Filters are standard, but what about tools that are now fit for use in a modern day student’s digital life? Learning device monitoring tools for example would have picked this list up as soon as the word “unrapable” was typed on the keyboard, not when it made its way to Discord and ultimately became available to the wider public, and shared.
What about parents? How much do they understand about the digital worlds their children are participating in? For many, not much.
Our team at Qoria runs sessions day after day, and watch on as schools struggle to get parents to turn up. I feel their frustration because when something bad does happen, they are often the first ones to start slinging and questioning why the school let this happen.
When will parents (of which I am one) begin to realise the influence the online world has on their children and decide it’s time to step up? Devices are a gateway to the world, to opinions both helpful and critically misinformed. To violent and explicit content like pornography and hate speech, and to tools that can cause significant harm to young, developing minds (which many women and girls ultimately pay the price for). It is up to all of us to play our role.
Follow the A-B-C’s
While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, there are tried and tested models that help safeguard and support young people in digital environments, and when we get it right, significantly impact their attitudes and behaviours as adults. It starts with following what I call the A-B-C’s. This means controlling their Access, setting Boundaries, and having solid and open Communication with our kids.
Controlling Access can look like:
- Using parental control tools to manage what access they have to apps, games and sites, and ensuring that they are engaging in age appropriate activities.
- Using in-app features like restricted modes, family pairing, or google safe search options to minimise the chances kids will come across something harmful.
- Schools utilising and offering effective technology that will detect and intervene before a child is able to access or share harmful content.
Setting Boundaries:
Would you hand your child the keys to your car and tell them to go for a joyride without knowing any road rules or talking about what they need to do to avoid an accident? Didn’t think so. We need to apply a physical world strategy now to all online ones because these aren’t platforms our kids are visiting anymore, they are places.
- Talk to them about the responsibilities of device ownership and what access to certain apps and games really mean your household.
- Talk to them about your family values and expectations. Go into detail about what this looks like with concrete examples and specifics on particular situations of concern. Specifics matter.
- Use digital device contracts with kids to create a sense of formality and responsibility around the rules you implement.
Open Communication
Possibly the most important of all these days is having consistent conversations with our kids about the online places they visit, and understanding how and who is influencing our children’s young minds. Is it the Andrew Tates of the world, or something worse?
- Have casual micro and macro conversations rather than serious sit down discussions.
- Keep the discussions going, and make it a regular part of your routine. Casual conversations are not enough.
- Have a balanced attitude toward technology, by outlining both the positive role it can play in children’s lives, along with the risks it poses.
- Include discussions on respectful relationships. Showcase the fact that it is not just words alone that show respect, it is our actions. This means positive communication, setting and respecting healthy boundaries, showing accountability, and how to manage conflict with maturity and grace.
- Role model the attitudes and behaviours you expect from your kids, because even if you think they aren’t watching, you will always be their litmus test.
Finally, ensure that no matter what, if something goes wrong your child feels that by coming to you, you will be able to help them through the situation. Help seeking is the first and foremost protective factor for young people and online environments, and parents are at the frontline.
Create the space and time to influence their futures, rather than leaving it to Snapchat.