It’s been an horrific week of domestic and family violence in Australia, one that must reiterate again the national emergency we’re facing, the gaps in funding that remain, as well as the dire gaps and delays in how police are responding.
There were two women murdered in separate suspected acts of domestic violence in Sydney and Melbourne, a three year old who was stabbed to death in an apartment in Sydney, and a 15 year old boy shot by his father in what police have confirmed was a suspected murder-suicide on Thursday, in Yamba, NSW.
With three of these murders occurring in NSW, and the fourth in Victoria, a question must be asked about urgency. Why aren’t necessary powers doing more to issue a national response with the funding and resources required to address the gaps in prevention and, in some of these cases, the police response.
Is the frequency of such violence desensitising us to the gravity?
Is it still the case that familial violence, behind closed doors is somehow less shocking than acts that occur randomly?
Is it a case that it can be too painful to consider?
I admit being not only lost for words in addressing the idea of a pre-schooler being stabbed, but also a sense of shame in not even being able to initially read about it. I had seen the headlines and refused to engage further, impossible to consider the fear and terror imposed on a pre-schooler who will never have the opportunity to live the life he deserved, as well as the pain that those who loved him will forever experience.
I also wonder about the attention this murder would receive should it have occurred randomly, on a street somewhere – instead of violently behind the closed doors of a bathroom in a unit on an otherwise normal Wednesday afternoon. To think about all the other things little 3yo boys might do at such a time: play with a doll, push a toy truck, watch Bluey, make silly and curious comments about going to the bathroom.
News of this murder blared on ABC news as my 7yo was sitting on the couch. I saw him look up, take it in, before I immediately changed the channel. How could I explain anything further about what he’d just seen? Even as he did ask questions, I deflected, certain that he should never know such things take place.
Yet, these atrocities do happen. Within 24 hours, a 15 year old was also dead — shot, as police believe — by his 58-year-old father who then turned the gun on himself. And such things will continue in Australia, despite a stated goal from the Albanese government to end domestic and family violence within our lifetime – a promise that comes with a plan, but still nowhere near the funding that the sector is calling for to bring it to pass.
There have been 16 women and girls killed by violence so far in 2023, according to Destroy the Joint, which keeps a running count based on what they can learn from news and police reports.
Also within this horror week was the murder of Tatiana Dokhotaru in Liverpool Sydney, with the 34-year-old’s body found in her flat after police had been called hours earlier to a domestic dispute by an anonymous phone caller. Tatiana’s partner, Danny Zayat, has been charged with domestic violence offences and was arrested at the scene.
On Tuesday, police arrived at a Melbourne home in response to calls of an altercation to find 37-year-old Monique Lezsak with severe injuries. She died at the scene, where two children were also present and one had sustained injuries. Monique’s partner is under police guard in hospital, also with injuries, with no further information available at present.
We will learn more about these incidents from this past week in the coming days and weeks – but in at least two of them, we have already learned about potential missed opportunities for intervention.
Indeed, what we have since learned about the murdered pre schooler in south-west Sydney is that NSW Police had spoken to the man who allegedly killed the little boy, just hours earlier.
Police will allege that they were seeking the man over allegations of domestic violence – with sources telling the Sydney Morning Herald that police had received a report of Nathan Vitakos allegedly committing an act of domestic violence days earlier, and calling him on the phone on Wednesday to speak about the incident. He is alleged to have murdered the child around 4pm, in the unit’s bathroom, according to the SMH report. In a further tragic detail of this three-year-old’s short life, we’ve also learned that his mother had died within a year of his birth from an illness.
And police again had been called to Tatiana Dokhotaru’s flat in the hours before she was murdered, but with the incident not labeled as a top priority within the police system, it was three hours before police responded to the call to help. Once they arrived, they couldn’t find the apartment, and so they left and returned again many hours later.
NSW Premier Chris Minns said the total 20 hour gap between the anonymous triple-zero call and the discovery of her body on Saturday was “very concerning”. NSW Minister for Women Jodie Harrison said her thoughts are with Dokhotaru’s family and her child, “we really do need to make sure that everything that should been done was done,” she said.
Family and domestic violence is a constant ever-present force in Australian society, with no neighbourhood immune, no matter how “quiet” those who live in the surrounding homes and streets will claim, as media come to learn more about the house or unit that became a place of terror.
During Question Time on Thursday, Harrison described ending gender inequality and gender-based violence as a responsibility “bourn by every citizen.”
“As long as tolerance of any form of violence against women and children continues in our community, the battle to overcome the daily scourge of domestic and family violence will be an uphill battle.
“I ask everyone in the community: if you see it if you hear it, report it.”
We should also ask everyone to remember them. Tatiana Dokhotaru, Monique Lezsak, and the three-year-old boy and 15-year-old boy whose names have not been released. Two children and two women all from different backgrounds and locations but all with so much more potential and love to give. Now forever linked by a week of violence and the many systems that failed them.
If you or someone you know needs support, please call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. You can also contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.