For all the efforts being made to boost women’s workforce participation, there’s one aspect that’s not always discussed: the fact some women simply do not want to return to work.
This cohort will account for some, but certainly not all, of the more than 600,000 stay-at-home mothers currently out of the workforce, as well as a good portion of the 40,000 stay-at-home fathers (a figure that’s almost doubled in the last decade, according to the ABS).
Much of it is due to structural matters: a lack of flexible work, systemic discrimination, work that’s project based rather than time-based, affordable and accessible childcare, and difficulties managing the daily juggle of getting kids to a place of care and yourself to a place of work. Then there are the cultural and societal assumptions regarding who can and should spend time away from the kids.
But another aspect may come down to whether work is merely a means for earning an income, or a place for pursuing a satisfying career. Getting to an office to sit through the day may not seem worth it once you factor in the other pieces required to make it there: finding care arrangements; relying on those care events; then arriving home to take on the ‘second shift’ of domestic work. It can all be exhausting work.
Discussing this issue with an entrepreneur this week, she shared an interesting theory on why some women don’t want to return to work, unless financially they absolutely have to. She believes that if women don’t find a ‘purpose’ in their work before they have children, then they’re unlikely to believe such a purpose is possible after they have children. The complex algorithm that comes with managing children and work becomes too difficult to make pursuing a career for more than an income alone a worthwhile pursuit. And, anyway, the children provide the purpose. Especially before they hit school age and are completely dependent on their parents. Then, once they hit school age, a whole other type of purpose emerges: supporting them through their education, coaching the soccer team, helping out with the school canteen.
But with all that purpose invested in young children, what happens as the children get older? What happens as their complete and utter dependence on you slowly adjusts?
The results of a new study on post-natal depression may provide some insight (although the link is not directly explored). The research from the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute of 1500 mothers finds that post-natal depression is actually more common four years after the birth of a child (with 15% of mothers reporting relevant depression symptoms at this time) than before the child turns one (10%). As report author Dr Hannah Woolhouse told the Sydney Morning Herald, the findings challenge the view that mothers are most vulnerable during their child’s first 12 months.
Mothers under 25, victims of domestic violence, and low income-earners were among the group most likely to be at risk. It’d be interesting to learn about such rates of depression in older mothers, and whether or not it can be linked to career and work sacrifices that may have occurred in order to support those children through their first four years of life.
Finding work with purpose is not only an issue that affects women with children, or even women alone. It’s something we’re all struggling to do. The question is whether or not you believe that finding work with purpose is actually possible and if you see a time limit or particular age as a deadline for when such a mission must be achieved. Men, especially those tied to societal assumptions that they will be primary breadwinners, no doubt struggle with this, and may find themselves in jobs they dislike to hold onto the pay cheque their family needs. It could be a good reason why research in the United States has found that men are more stressed and less happy at work than they are at home, compared to women who’re more stressed and less happy at home. Some of these men might be the ones who offer comments like, “you’re so lucky you get to stay at home with your baby all day” to new mothers – often surprised by the bewildered reaction such a statement provokes.
Many new mothers make significant career sacrifices. Some will work to rebuild their careers, or do everything possible to keep their careers on track while having children. Others will take on the challenge of re-entering the workforce a number of years after having children. Some will return to work for no other reason but to pull an income, and others again will look for ways to develop their own idea of a ‘career with purpose’. Some women will never return to work.
The decision not to return to work is one that relies on a number of factors, everything from looking after a child with special needs, to difficulties accessing affordable childcare or after-school care, a lack of confidence, qualifications and experience.
But for many it will simply be a matter of purpose. When there is so much more purpose to staying home, than returning to work, it’s difficult to justify the balancing act that comes with attempting to “have it all”.