One of my managers recently shared with me a recurring dream. She is usually in a meeting with a client, interviewing a business leader for a story or at a meeting with the manager of her childcare provider when she suddenly realises she is topless. She panics and throws her arms around her torso. The anxiety that ensues makes for a restless night’s sleep.
I have the same recurring dream except that in mine I am without my trousers. And as anxious as this scenario makes me feel it’s a step up from the days when I used to dream that I was naked in the middle of a busy street.
Almost 20 years ago when I was working on the launch of the first media product I devised from scratch, I would wake up in the middle of the night from a dream state of panic. It was always the same dream: I was standing in a crowd of people at a pedestrian crossing, naked, and across the road I would see my former boss.
I’m no dream analyst but my then art director apparently was. He informed me that the dream represented my concern that my new magazine — a product that was intensely personal because I had created it — would be poorly judged by my peers in the industry. He told me it demonstrated that I care too much about how others perceive my ability when I should be focused on my achievements to date. Definitely a male perspective that is easier said than done. I have since read that anxious dreams relating to nudity equate to feelings of being found out to be a fraud. It’s that old female chestnut of believing that you are undeserving of your success.
Do any men have similar dreams or is the feeling of inadequacy specifically a female thing? I’d actually love to know the answer to that question so please ask the men you know and get back to me.
Although my partly naked dreams resurfaced following my appointment as CEO, I do feel as though my self-confidence must have developed because I am at least now wearing a shirt. Perhaps the absence of trousers is related to my role as a CEO in a country dominated by male CEOs. And although I have worked and studied towards this role for decades it may be some time before I stop wondering if I am capable of achieving the aspirations that I have set for the company I am leading. Do new male CEOs experience the same feelings of doubt (with or without the naked dreams)?
I have worked for a couple of men in my career who confidently charged forward every day, even when it was clear that the strategy was completely wrong. Surely those men were not waking up from dreams of nudity. Or perhaps they were, but without the anxiety. I have been told that the meaning of a dream is directly related to how you feel during it. For example, if you are naked and enjoying showing off your body then the dream is more likely to mean the opposite of the dreams I am used to.
In my experience the only way forward from that place of panicked nudity is to invest in your self-confidence. Build the foundations for your success on solid ground. Do all the studying you need to over-compensate for feelings of inadequacy if that’s what works for you. It’s definitely what works for me. Find a mentor and ask for guidance. Don’t be afraid to say that you don’t know the answer to that question but will go and find out. I have done all of those things and now I am half covered up in my dreams. The underlying fear is still there, but the panic level has subsided.
My goal is to reach a dream state of being fully dressed in my first year as CEO. That will only happen if I can consolidate my achievements with this new role. I have to believe I can do it – at least when I’m awake.