Last night I went back on Paul Murray Live on Sky News. When the invitation to appear first came through I hesitated before I accepted. After my first experience, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to live quietly under a rock for the rest of my life. Or, at least, avoid television studios for the foreseeable future. But yesterday I changed my mind which meant last night I went back to the scene of the crime. And I’m so glad I did. Because it was a completely different experience; there was barely a ripple of unfavourable commentary on Twitter and afterwards I felt satisfied that I had dipped my toe back in the water.
But before it happened there was no way for me to know that. I hoped it wouldn’t be but I was aware, even expecting, that it could have been a repeat of the first time. So why would I put myself through that? The short answer is you and Julia Gillard.
On Monday night I was genuinely inspired by her conversation with Anne Summers . Hearing her speak frankly, for the first time, about her personal reaction to everything from denigrating and explicit cartoons to the comments that prompted her misogyny speech was illuminating. It was a powerful reminder that beneath the office and position of any prime minister is a human being. Whatever side of politics you favour I think it would be difficult to deny that as a person Gillard showed extraordinary dignity in the face of extraordinary ignominy. And she did it because she was working on something she passionately believed in.
And that’s why I was willing to go back on air last night. I am not, for one moment, suggesting that my own experience on television is remotely comparable to anything that Gillard endured but there is a tiny parallel. And that is that being publically insulted is being publically insulted and it’s not pleasant.
Before we went to air last night I spoke to one of my fellow panellists, a seasoned television professional, about it. He had read my article and he made an interesting point. “People will tell you ‘Oh it doesn’t matter what those people say’ but the fact is it’s still a kick and it hurts.” (He also said that any backlash has always been worse for women.)
I appreciated him saying that because it is true. It does hurt but, equally, it’s not a valid reason, of itself, to not speak up. I did not appear on television to generate controversy or create drama. I went on television to express the same views that I express here (and anywhere else I can) because it’s what I believe in. And if I’m not going to speak up about the things I believe in when I am given the opportunity who will?
I was overwhelmed by the kindness the Women’s Agenda readers and community showed me after I wrote about my encounter with hate. In fact, just on Tuesday I got an email from a reader that was at the top of my mind when I got the invitation to return to Sky. She said how much she enjoyed hearing a different voice and view on television.
I begrudgingly accept that not everyone shares my view of the world but I also realise there are people who do. And I’m happy to speak up for anyone in that camp, even if it means catching the wrath of others. I’m also eternally hopeful that I can convert others to my camp too but that won’t happen if I stay under a rock will it?