Five things women who ‘have it all’ are doing differently - Women's Agenda

Five things women who ‘have it all’ are doing differently

Ah ‘having it all’ – the dream of a perfect life. It seems so cliché to even dream of perfection, but dream of it we do.

For all of us the dream is different. For some it might be a fulfilling career, for others it’s the white picket fence. Some of us dream of success, power, beauty, or a simple and happy life.

None of those things have to be mutually exclusive, of course – but cramming them all into one old life? Impossible, for most of us.

Then there are those women who, on the surface, look like they’re getting it. Those women who seem to have it all worked out – great job, great relationships, great family, great life.

What are they doing differently from the rest of us?

Well, there a few things that women who ‘have it all’ do in their everyday lives to fit it all in:

1. Accept help

Letting go of the idea that we women have to be all of the things, to all of the people, all of time is a liberating experience.

Say you want to study to further your career<>, ideally you’d block out some time in the week and allocate it to the books, right? But life – particularly as a mother – doesn’t always allow for that.

It can though … if you accept help.

Let you partner take the reins for a while. Accept that help your neighbor has offered. Get in a cleaner to cover the jobs that don’t really need you. Use a babysitter. Call your own parents in for assistance.

Delegation is not a dirty word.

2. Know the difference between ‘wants’ and ‘needs’

Women who ‘have it all’ know how to prioritise. You can get started on this yourself by dividing up your ‘to do’ list into two categories – ‘Have to get this done’ and ‘Oh, I’d love to get this done.’ Here’s the hot-tip: Housework doesn’t go in the first one – the world won’t stop spinning if your laundry hamper is full.

Identify what is really important to you, and make that your ‘Have to get this done’ list. For you it might be reading group at your child’s school, or devoted time to a blog, or study, or a family meal night, or even just half an hour of nothing. Tasks that are non-negotiable, tasks that help you be the best version of you.

Women who ‘have it all’ know that everything else really can wait.

3. Let stuff slide

Repeat after me: “No.”

Now say it again, and again … and again.

Of course you’d love to go to every party and accept every invitation. Of course you’d love to help on every committee. Of course you want the promotion. Of course, you’d love to go to every class at the gym, make home made meals every night, volunteer your services where required. Of course you’d love a tidy home free from overflowing drawers.

Stop. Breathe. And say “No.”

Your ‘Oh, I’d love to get this done’ list needs to be as carefully managed as your ‘Have to get this done’ list.

Let a few things slide and all of a sudden you are on the path to understanding what is really important in the first place.

4. Practice self-care

Nobody is going to look after you as well as yourself. You are your own biggest investment.

All of that saying “No” you’ve been doing, will leave you plenty of time to say “Yes” to yourself when it really matters. Your health and your wellbeing are paramount. Be vigilant about taking care of yourself.

5. Recognise that there is no such thing as ‘having it all’ in the first place

“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” – Leo Tolstoy

Every decision we make has pros and cons, benefits and sacrifices. Having it all is a big, old myth. Life is all about deciding what is more important and sacrificing what we can in order to gain what we truly need.

What do you think? Have you mastered ‘having it all’ in your life?

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